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His Name Is
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Grace Church
257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105

(262) 763-3021

Email:
Pastor Scott Carson

Secretary Patti Hall

PASTOR'S PENS 2003

Grace Church of Burlington June 22, 2003 “The way most married couples argue about money, 'budget' is just another name for a fight.”   Conservatively, it’s estimated that 50% of the problems of marriage involve finances. Money problems are one of the major causes of divorce in America. Monetary issues are the skeleton in the closet of many Christian homes, appearing regularly to harass and haunt married couples. Checkbooks, credit cards and overdue bills are the feathers that fly in many domestic disputes.   One of the reasons that money is such a struggle in so many marriages is that too many believers have bought into the cultural lie that “money can buy happiness.” It can’t. Even a recent NBC news report substantiated this (6-15-03) (though they suggested an instantaneous $1.5 million would buy you some). America is the richest nation in the world. And are we happy? Well, it turns out, no. According to Jean Chatzky, an editor of Money Magazine, “If you look at the United States which has gotten richer over time, the people of the United States as a whole have not gotten happier.” In fact we may be unhappier now than we were 20 or 30 years ago. Statistically at least, the evidence is rather persuasive. Go ahead, work hard, kill yourself, get that big raise. Will you be happier? If you’re like most people, the answer is no. In fact, it’s quite the reverse.    Some of the most miserable couples that you will ever meet live in the nicest homes, drive the newest cars, go on the most extravagant vacations, have yachts, cabins, cottages, etc, etc. But money cannot buy happiness!   The cold hard fact is that the pursuit of money is a marital intimacy killer. Yet most Americans, Christians included, make supporting their lifestyles their top financial priority. This is why Dad puts in long hours or even moonlights. That’s why he’s continually looking for that higher paying job, even though it may give him less satisfaction. It’s often also why Mom works. It’s not to get by, it’s to get ahead. They have chosen a particular lifestyle and now they have to fund it. Because of this choice, their second financial priority is debt repayment, which is a direct result of their lifestyle. Their third financial priority is paying taxes (we have little choice on that one). Accumulation is the fourth priority. And finally, if there is anything left over – giving is last of all.   What’s the result of having to support their lifestyle? Both Dad and Mom are continually exhausted. TV becomes the primary source of entertainment and even the chief family activity because it requires little emotional, social or mental energy. The family meal is frequently purchased at the drive through window. The children are maintained, not trained (Prov. 22:6). More often than not, they are latchkey children left to fend for themselves. Children without parental guidance also tend to get into trouble, so now there is a new arena for the Family Feud. Instead of fighting over money, the couple can now fight over who’s fault it is that “we have such rotten kids.”   So, what’s the solution? 1) Become a steward of God’s money, not a slave to your own (it’s all His anyway). Make sure your financial goals and spending habits line up with Scriptural values. Too many Christians are seeking to keep up with the Joneses. Instead we need to please the Lord Jesus with our finances. 2) Learn to do without and to be content with your home, your job, your car, etc. 3) Get out of debt and stop accumulating more. Downsize if you need to. 4) Communicate and cooperate on Biblically evaluated financial goals. Many husbands need to be better leaders and decision makers when it comes to the family finances. Too often they drop it all on the wife. And that’s wrong. Then, many spouses must learn to curb their spending. They allow themselves to be manipulated by the children who always want more. Or, a spouse becomes discontent with what they already possess simply because it is out of style or a little dated. 5) Invest in eternity! That will probably mean giving more. It might mean opening up your home and using it as a vehicle of hospitality and advancement of the Kingdom more often. It might mean having an exchange student live with you. It may mean retiring a little later (too many live for retirement and fail to simply live, much less live for the Lord). It may mean investing in a young person’s pursuit of a Christian education so that they can serve the Lord in a full time ministry.   Too many couples explode or slowly simmer over financial matters. God wants us to put Him first and then learn to be content as well as to Biblically problem solve our monetary disagreements. Don’t let the dollar divide your marriage! Letting money matters drive your marriage is a terrible investment!