Ministries:
Adult | Teens | Children

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Sermon Series:
Following Jesus
Earthly Cross
His Name Is
Apostles Creed
Dealing with Feelings
Jonah
Get Real
Promised Land Living

Grace Church
257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105

(262) 763-3021

Email:
Pastor Scott Carson

Secretary Patti Hall

PASTOR'S PENS 2006

Grace Church of Burlington February 12, 2006 “The only way I can make a Jim Carrey face is through Novocain at the dentist’s office.”                                                                                               Sasha Azevedo             Don’t ever let my dentist know that I said this, but I really don’t like to see him. In fact, if I never saw him again on a professional level, it wouldn’t bother me at all. First of all, I don’t like pain and every time I leave his office, my mouth hurts. Secondly, I hate the sound – there’s just something about that drill and the noise from those other instruments of torture that they usethat I do not find very inviting. Thirdly, they often scold me. I don’t floss enough or brush enough or well enough or come to see them enough or gargle with mouthwash enough. Fourthly, they always ask me questions when they have their fingers or tools of torture in my mouth...and expect me to somehow answer them. Finally, they want me to pay for the entire ordeal – usually at the time of “service.”             Statistics show that I’m not only one who tries to avoid the drill boys. In fact, if I need some extensive dental work, I try to schedule it at the same time as my cleaning. That way I can get all of the pain done in one shot. I don’t like being miserable. Most of us don’t.             Most of us try to avoid pain, so it really perplexes me why some couples fight so much. It seems like nearly every day or so, they get into it. To me, it’s like going to see the drill boy on a daily basis. No thanks!! I’d rather have dentures. I’m convinced that the reason that a lot of couples do it is that they are just in the habit. It’s kind of like smoking cigarettes. They know that it’s bad for them and expensive. They really don’t enjoy it but they’re in the habit, so they easily fall off the wagon. Most arguments too start over the silliest things. But it’s like gas on a smoldering blaze. Once the fuel has been added, it’s a full inferno again.             Let me be very clear on something. You cannot be right with God and fight all of the time. Scripture says, “Blessed are the peacemakers” (Mt. 5:9). You also cannot be right with God and be consistently critical and petty with your spouse. Scripture commands us, “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thes. 5:18). So, if you and your mate are continually “at it,” first of all, it is a spiritual issue. Both of you need to confess it as sin to God, repent and apologize to one another. And if your spouse will not take responsibility for their part of the problem, you still need to – not for them – but to please God and to obey Him. If you’ve gotten into the bad habit of fighting, then do what I do with my dentist – schedule it. Write down the things that are bothering you and then set a weekly appointment to clear the air. But stop fighting all of the time. It’s wrong. It’s a bad example to your children and it’s even bad for you physically.             Most of us enter marriage with undeveloped conflict resolution skills. We don’t really know how to have a good fight. It reminds me of a husband who said, that after fifty years of marriage, he and his wife have had only one fight. When asked what his secret was he said, “The fight started on our honeymoon and I’m still waiting for it to end!” How tragic!             Most of us do not fight in public. It’s rare to have a couple fight when I am there. They want to put on a good front for the preacher. So let me give you an easy solution. Remember that the Lord Jesus is always present. Only say and do things with your spouse that do not embarrass you in front of Him.             But if you’re in a rut, get some help. Don’t wait until somebody has an affair or files for divorce. Marital conflict is like cancer. It’s a lot easier to solve if you catch it early. And if your spouse won’t go, then still go. You might tell them that you want to be fair to them with the counselor so it would be best if the counselor also heard their side and perspective because you really want to solve things.             God wants us to have fulfilling marriages. Please don’t settle for mediocrity. Take the initiative and do the hard work. Make the changes and submit to God’s Word so that you can have the love life that God wants you to have!  A happy marriage is God’s plan but we have to do it His way!! And even if your spouse won’t do the right thing, don’t miss out on God’s joy – make sure that you do!!