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Grace Church
257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105

(262) 763-3021

Email:
Pastor Scott Carson

Secretary Patti Hall

PASTOR'S PENS 2006

Grace Church of Burlington June 18, 2006 "In situation comedies the men are devious, bumbling or easy to outwit. It is the women that outwit them, and teach them a lesson, or hold the whole town together all by themselves."                                                                                    Robert Bly      A few years ago columnist Michael Abernethy noted that prime time television seems to love to belittle men. Let me share just four popular shows at the time that he used as examples: King of Queens, Yes, Dear, Everybody Loves Raymond, and Still Standing. The men in these shows are selfish and lazy, inconsiderate husbands and poor parents. He adds, “the commercials in between aren't any better...A digital camera ad: A young husband walks through a grocery store, trying to match photos in his hand with items on the shelves. Cut to his wife in the kitchen, snapping digital pictures of all the items in the pantry so that hubby won't screw up the shopping. A family game ad: A dorky guy and beautiful woman are playing Trivial Pursuit. He asks her, ‘How much does the average man's brain weigh?’ Her answer: ‘Not much.’...Welcome to the new comic image of men on TV: incompetence at its worst. Where television used to feature wise and wonderful fathers and husbands, today's comedies and ads often feature bumbling husbands and inept, uninvolved fathers.”  Dr. Katherine Young and Paul Nathanson in their book, Spreading Misandry: The Teaching of Contempt for Men in Popular Culture, argue that in addition to being portrayed as generally unintelligent, men are ridiculed, rejected, and physically abused in the media. Such behavior, they suggest, "would never be acceptable if directed at women."      Sadly, things are often not much better in the Church. Just take the difference between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day in the typical church. On Mother’s Day we bless the mothers but on Father’s Day, we blast the fathers.  But the Biblical fact is that depravity is genderless. Yet too much of the evangelical church sees men as a problem to be fixed, not a gender to be appreciated.     For example, if there is a problem with their marriage, Christian men have been told that it is automatically their fault. Fortunately, Dr. James Dobson, is one of a few authors brave enough to confront this false message. He writes in Love Must Be Tough that men are saddled with the unrealistic expectation that "any sadness or depression that a woman might encounter is her husband's fault. At least he has the power to eradicate it if he cares enough. In other words, many American women come into marriage with unrealistically romantic expectations which are certain to be dashed. Not only does this orientation set up a bride for disappointment and agitation in the future, it also places enormous pressure on her husband to deliver the impossible...Marital conflict always involves an interaction between two imperfect human beings who share the responsibility to one degree or another. "Scripture is very clear. It tells us that both genders are uniquely and equally made in the image of God and that both are equally sinful and in need of redemption.     Scripture gives great responsibility to men to be godly and to be spiritual leaders. To be in line with Scripture, though, not only should we celebrate femininity but we must also celebrate masculinity. And there is much to celebrate. For example, sociologist Brad Wilcox from the University of Virginia, found that evangelical fathers rank higher than other men in the United States in most every category. "Conservative evangelical fathers spend more time with their children, hug and praise them more, are less likely to yell at them, and commit the lowest levels of domestic violence than any other group in America.” These fathers are also the most active, emotionally engaged husbands and fathers in America whose wives report the highest levels of happiness, love and affection. These superior fathers and husbands are also more likely to discipline their children, monitor their viewing habits, and know where they are at any given time. They know how to balance their traditional, authority-minded approach to parenting with a large measure of involvement and affection. These fathers are also more likely than mothers to encourage their children to take up difficult tasks, to seek out fresh experiences, and to endure pain and hardship without yielding. Wilcox explains, "The bottom line is that fathers excel in teaching their children the virtues of fortitude, temperance, and prudence for life outside their family."  Then, the amount of time fathers devote to child rearing has increased nearly 200% in the last three decades. The largest factor in predicting whether a child will graduate from high school, attend college, avoid crime or drugs, and get pregnant before 18 is the presence of a father in the child's life.       Dads are not perfect. They need a Savior, too and must dependent upon the Spirit’s power. Let’s not make the mistake though of a secular world and blame all of today’s social problems on men. It was both Adam and Eve who lost the Garden. And at Grace we are so blessed to have so many men who love the Lord, want to do the right thing, and are good husbands and fathers.    It’s Father’s Day. Let’s make sure that we appreciate and praise the many fathers who are also committed to pleasing our Heavenly Father.