Ministries:
Adult | Teens | Children

Pastor's Pen's:
2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001

Sermon Series:
Following Jesus
Earthly Cross
His Name Is
Apostles Creed
Dealing with Feelings
Jonah
Get Real
Promised Land Living

Grace Church
257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105

(262) 763-3021

Email:
Pastor Scott Carson

Secretary Patti Hall

PASTOR'S PENS 2007

Grace Church of Burlington May 13, 2007 If I were hanged on the highest hill, I know whose love would follow me still. Mother of mine. Mother of mine. If I were drowned in the deepest sea, I know whose tears would come down to me. Mother of mine, Mother of mine. If I were damned by body and soul, I know whose prayers would make me whole. Mother of mine, mother of mine.   Rudyard Kipling             Rudyard Kipling has always been one of my favorite authors. Most of us know of him because of his famous classic, The Jungle Book.  I wish I knew what prompted his short little poem, Mother of Mine. Somehow Kipling paints in verse something I’ve seen countless times in my years as a pastor. While I have seen a few Dads who were broken-hearted over a wayward child, I’ve lost count of how many teary eyed mothers I’ve comforted over the years. There is just something in the way that God designed Moms which just breaks and is wounded at such a deep level that it seems to never fully heal with mothers. The ancient Hebrew sage, Solomon, observed this same trait “a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother” (Proverbs 29:15 NASV). While I am not a mother, I want to share some insights that I hope ease the pain today of some suffering Moms in the Grace Family. Love is not a feeling, it’s a volitional choice. The biggest problem most Moms deal with is guilt. One of the greatest causes of this guilt is that they just don’t feel the warmth and love that they would like to feel, and that they think they should feel toward a wayward child. It grieves them that they struggle with feelings of impatience, anger, exasperation and shame with a wayward child. They think somehow they must be an unfit mother because they struggle with these real emotions. Usually, the child’s behaviors are ongoing. Often, they have literally worked with a wayward child on the same wrong behaviors and attitudes for decades. While it is wrong to give into sinful anger or impatience, the years of frustration make those feelings all the more tempting. Mom, many times your walls of resistance have literally been worn thin. The Bible teaches that righteous anger is not a sin. Sinful behavior should anger us. We just have to be careful that we do not allow it to become resentment or bitterness. And true love is not a feeling, it’s always a choice. It will often bring about warm, wonderful feelings but those are by-products. The choice to love is what motivates you to keep praying for a wayward child. It’s what motivates you to keep being kind, gracious and Christlike when you’re taken for granted, taken advantage of and even mistreated. You will never be able to do this in your own strength. It truly must be the power of the Spirit working through you.             b) You are NOT responsible for an adult child’s behavior. Typically, I find that the wrong people feel guilt and shame. An adult child will do foolish things, often criminal things, and they regret being caught and having to deal with the consequences of their foolish choices. They often are very good at manipulating others to help them or take responsibility for them. Frequently, Mom is the #1 target. They know how to push her buttons and guilt-trip her. All of us fail in our parenting. There are many things today that I would do differently if I had a chance to do it all over again. To the point then as a parent, that you failed and are responsible, you need to confess it to God and apologize to your children. BUT that does not excuse wrong behavior for an adult child. While some psychobabble says that people do wrong things because they had bad parents, it’s not true...and it doesn’t cut it in the courts of heaven. God holds each of us individually responsible. We Americans are professionals at blame-shifting but novices at taking personal responsibility. If an adult child gets into legal, employment, marital or even financial trouble, it is not the parent’s fault or responsibility. Adults are responsible for their own choices – good or bad. Sadly, those who make wrong choices will usually only change when they have to face the pain and consequences of their wrong choices. That’s tough for a Mom. The one who used to kiss skinned knees still wants to fix wrecked lives. But that is the very thing that they do not need and you will continue to bail them out until they have to face the consequences for their decisions. c) Even the best Mom can have a bad child. Mom, your responsibility is to be faithful and do the right things. God has given each of us a will and we make our own choices. The very first parent to have wayward children, was God. You know their names: Adam and Eve. So Mom, be faithful, even if your children are grown. You only have to please one person, your Savior and Lord. Please Him and you are a great Mom!! His Word tells you that!