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Following Jesus
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His Name Is
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Dealing with Feelings
Jonah
Get Real
Promised Land Living

Grace Church
257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105

(262) 763-3021

Email:
Pastor Scott Carson

Secretary Patti Hall

PASTOR'S PENS 2007

Grace Church of Burlington July 8, 2007 “I feel that I can do just about anything, except have a successful marriage.”                                                                                                                   Ted Turner             Anyone who’s traveled through a grocery checkout knows there's an entire media industry that revolves around celebrity love lives; who's hooking up, breaking up, doing this, doing that, getting hitched, getting ditched, and denying this, apologizing for that. Millions are made speculating about what Hollywood love lives must really be like. We're in a new era when a celeb relationship can become one word (Tomkat, Brangelina, Bennifer, etc...).             The question that no one seems to be asking is: Do these public celebrity relationships teach us anything about marriage? The answer is “Yes.”             Lesson #1: You have to protect your marriage and your heart.  Take the relationship between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Even if you’re already married to a very attractive person, you can still fall for someone else. Every one of us is capable of the most hideous of sins (1 Corinthians 10:12). You will have difficulty staying faithful if you allow yourself to get into tempting situations. If you find yourself spending time with someone of the opposite sex other than your spouse, enjoy talking to them more than your spouse, or just feel attracted to them – you are in the danger zone! And you don’t need to wean yourself from this other emotional attachment, you need to amputate it. A healthy marriage is a challenge for all couples and that can only be overcome if you continue to woo each other even after the knot is tied.             Lesson #2: Even the best marriage is vulnerable. Hopefully, Hollywood romances do not measure up to your idea of the perfect relationship. The  time line of most celebrity hook-ups goes something like this: The two meet up, hook up, declare their love, get married, buy matching sports cars/designer pets/etc., then call it all off within about two years. Even Hollywood relationships that we thought had some substance and staying power – Reese and Ryan, for example – often fail. That should be a warning to us all. No matter how good your relationship looks on the outside, it's still vulnerable at any time. If something is important to us, we pray about it, think about it, study it. Every marriage has some weak points. Know what they are and continually seek God’s grace to make them stronger.             Lesson #3: Some couch jumping makes for a healthy marriage. Okay, so I don’t think that Tom Cruise is playing with a full deck but Tom's over-the-top behavior declaration of his love for Katie wasn’t a bad thing. If it’s acceptable for even the most macho guy to jump and scream when his team scores a touchdown...if it’s acceptable for a woman to shriek with joy when she sees an old friend, then why is it weird if you get a little excited about your love for your spouse? Most of us need to find our own form of couch jumping when we express our love for our spouse. Now most of us don’t have to work at jumping higher, most wives are content if her husband will hold her hand or give her a quick kiss in public. Being able to communicate certainly helps. 81% of women say they want to be with a man who can communicate if there's something on his mind. And nearly every man wants to know that he is at some level heroic and appreciated by his wife. Now that doesn’t mean that you have to publicly fawn and fawn and fawn. But actions go a long way. Most of us need to continue working at demonstrating our love in the way that our spouse appreciates it. Find out what is meaningful to your mate and just do it.             Lesson #4: Marriage is not the equivalent of a long date. The biggest message we get from celebrity hook-ups is that marriage is the commitment equivalent of dating. Find someone you like, get married. Don't like that person any more, get divorced. Marriage should not be rushed but we see it all the time – quick marriages, quick divorces. The dangerous message from this is that marriage doesn't really matter. Too many couples put more work into their wedding than than they ever do in their marriage. We must realize that a wedding is a worship service. You are making vows to each other but more importantly before God. Some of us need to work through those vows again and remember what we once promised so many years ago...and keep doing it!             Many couples need to take Henry Ford’s sage advice when asked on his 50th  wedding  anniversary for his rule for marital bliss and longevity. He replied, “Just the same as in the automobile business, stick to one model.” That’s God’s plan too, “rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18). You can have a healthy, fulfilling marriage but like anything worthwhile it takes a lot of work and commitment. And you and I have something that Hollywood couples don’t have: God’s Word instructing us and God’s Spirit empowering us.