Grace Church
257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105

(262) 763-3021

PASTOR'S PENS 2008

Grace Church of Burlington May 4, 2008                         “I decided I can't pay a person to rewind time,  so I may as well get over it.” Serena Williams             A rattlesnake, if cornered, will become so angry it bites itself. That’s exactly what the harboring of anger and resentment against others is, the biting of oneself. We think we’re harming others by holding onto old wounds and bitterness but the greater harm is to ourselves. Bitterness always bites you back. Too many live their lives focused on things that irritate them, dwelling on the bad, hurtful and unfair aspects of life. They look at life through the lens of a miserable attitude, making themselves more miserable not to mention everyone around them. Even sadder is that many Christians live their lives that way, rarely able to see the good in anything or anyone. How tragic! And bitter people are easy to spot. They walk through life with a huge chip on their shoulder. They’re constantly irritable and crabby.             Getting over things is the key to a fulfilled life. One of our greatest challenges is to keep bitterness from creeping into our souls. And a lot of things in life have the potential to make us bitter: family problems, marital stress, rejection, past abuses, loneliness, misunderstanding, conflicts, church problems...the list goes on and on. Any of these, if not dealt with, has the potential to become bitterness in your soul. Everything you think about is then processed through this filter of pain, affecting your attitude, emotions, your relationship with others and God. When that happens, not only are you miserable to be around, you lose any effectiveness in accomplishing anything for God with your life. What are some of the common sources of bitterness that we must move past and keep from poisoning our lives?             a) Your spouse’s past. The high price tags of the sexual revolution and our lack of a moral compass is that too few individuals, even Christians, are virgins on their wedding day. Frequently, that loss is a source of continual tension in the marriage. A lack of respect has to be worked through. What’s amazing, even if the now married partners were the only ones who they went over the boundary of sexual intimacy prior to marriage with, there often are still feelings of cheapness and guilt. If it was someone other than the spouse, we are often morbidly curious about things we need to bury and forget.   b) Your parents’ fallibility. Your parents weren’t perfect and neither were their parents. Most parents do the best that they can with the light that they have...and your children will have to get over you. Besides, your therapist is tired of hearing about the forced French horn lessons. It’s time to get over your lousy childhood. Besides, if you’d lived in 1650, you'd have had a one-in-three chance of making it to 18.  c) Your own fallibility. Sometimes being lousy at something but doing it anyway is fun. No one has ever watched me play a sport and thought “potential professional athlete” but I still enjoy playing. Most of us will never be as organized or the time/money managers we’d like to be. We’re all going to make mistakes. d) Life has more violent swings than Barry Bonds. Denying it only makes it worse. Things break down. People get sick. They even die. Accidents happen. People get laid off or fired. It’s only in fairy tales that people live “happily ever after.” But God is still good, all of the time! e) That college rival/ex-girlfriend/ex-boss/jerk-who-cut-you-off-in-traffic you still resent. They don't deserve that level of devotion from you, do they? Why do you still think about them? Most of them have forgotten about you and how they mistreated you. The only one still suffering is (guess who?) that’s right – YOU – and now it’s self-inflicted.  f) The family reunion or obligatory neighbors' holiday party. It's a bit like Canada: They talk funny, tend to be boring and are always watching hockey. But attending creates a peaceful border. Don’t focus or gripe about it. g) Your childhood fantasy. So you’re not a rock star, pro athlete or even a multi-millionaire. Do you know what comes with fame? The paparazzi. Isn’t it nice being able to go to the beach without worrying that if you’ve gained five pounds, your picture won’t end up on the cover of People? h) The daily grind. Defend your priorities with a firm hand and other people will stop setting them for you. Know your purpose, what God has called you to do and what your goals should be. And don’t have a meltdown over an interruption.  i) Aging and mortality. So you’ve got a little more gray hair...only Miss Clairol knows for sure. With age should also come wisdom and experience. Aren’t you glad you don’t have to go through adolescence again? We can either moan as we are, or we can mature like a fine wine, gaining more flavor, a broader outlook and wisdom with each passing day. We’re all terminal. We just don’t know the expiration date. Worrying and fretting about it doesn’t help. It also steals the joy and pleasure that God wants to give you for today.             There are many joy stealers out there. If we’re going to have the joy of the Lord, we must discard a lot of junk and by God’s grace, pro-actively invest and pour ourselves into each and every day! That was Paul’s outlook, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Why not make it yours?