Grace Church
257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105

(262) 763-3021

PASTOR'S PENS 2008

Grace Church of Burlington May 11, 2008 “When we love something it is of value to us, and when something is of value to us we spend time with it, time enjoying it and time taking care of it.”  Scott Peck             Knute Larson, pastor of the Chapel in Akron, Ohio, was speaking at a conference some years ago and said, “If you really want to see how successful a man really is, then take a good look at his wife.” Look at her eyes. Look at her countenance. Is she typical, like all the rest, just a part of the crowd? Is her face a little hardened by disappointment and unmet needs? Are her eyes a little dulled by a bit of emptiness? Or does she shine? Is her countenance warm? Are her eyes at peace? Is she a cut above the crowd because of the security and self-confidence her husband’s love gives her?”             What I’m going to say is going to embarrass both of them and I’ll probably have to fight to get the Pastor’s Pen printed this week, but Rick Hall is one of my heroes. Now Rick is a great church treasurer but that’s not why. Rick is a very good CPA but that’s not why. And Rick is an avid sports fan, a decent golfer and knows a little bit about basketball (he’s the local walking basketball encyclopedia) but that’s not why. The reason that Rick is one of my heroes is the way that he loves, appreciates, honors and protects his wife, Patti, who also happens to be our church secretary. Many of you know Patti struggles with various health issues. There are times that she just doesn’t feel good and Rick does everything that he can to protect her and watch out for her. Rick is always fun to be with but he’s even more fun to be around when he’s with Patti. To say that Rick adores Patti is an understatement. Rick, like many other men at Grace, truly models what Peter wrote, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7).             Now I know that it’s Mother’s Day and I’m talking about a wife, not a mother. But the greatest gift a man can give his children is to love their mother. The problem is that the longer that we’re married, the easier it is to take our wives for granted. Because we’re so accustomed to them and almost overly familiar, we fail to appreciate the wife and mother of our children that the Lord has blessed us with. How do we do that? Let me give some more common examples of failing to appreciate and value your wife:             You treat your wife like a pack mule. You have her make the bulk of the decisions about the children, church and nearly every other situation that you face. You tend to be passive and heap as much responsibility as you can on her until she nearly collapses.             You treat your wife like the village idiot. You treat her as if she is dumber than a box of rocks. You belittle her and make her feel foolish. You scoff at her ideas or suggestions. You treat your wife like a mouse. You squelch her personality. You’re overbearing; allowing her  just to squeak a little once in awhile.  You don’t help her to grow into the person God intended for her to be.                    You treat your wife like a lion. You treat her as if she’s the “king of the jungle,” bowing to her every demand. You abdicate your own responsibility and leadership in the home, letting her rule the roost. Sadly, some husbands are completely dominated by their wife, living like a mouse in their own home. A classic illustration of this is it is typically the wife who chooses what church the family will attend with the husband trailing along.             You treat your wife like a golden retriever. It’s get this for me, do that for me, fetch that for me. She’s treated little better than a slave.             You treat your wife like one of the kids. You interrogate her over nearly every decision, why she did something, where she was, what she was doing and who she was doing it with. Rather than honoring and respecting her, she’s treated like one of your children.             Let me end with a wonderful example of one famous husband who fleshed out what Peter is saying...Ronald Reagan. Long before he was president, Reagan began writing a daily letter, card or telegram to Nancy shortly after their first meeting in 1949 and continued the practice until Alzheimer’s took away his ability to write. Here was a man who not only loved his wife deeply but took time every day from his busy life to tell her, in writing, that he loved her. He had said that there was only one person who could make him lonely by just leaving the room. He described himself as "the most married man in the world" and his wife as the "light of my life."  "I love you so much I don’t even mind that life made me wait so long to find you. The waiting only made the finding sweeter" (1955). "I live in a permanent Christmas because God gave me you" (1970). "I more than love you, I’m not whole without you. You are life itself to me" (1983). Reagan was more than a good president, he was a great husband. He determined early on to value Nancy as a treasured vessel.