257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105
(262) 763-3021
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We have purchased land on Highways A & W and are planning to build soon! Drive by and take a look at our future home!
“Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.”
Ruth E. Renkel
June 20th, 2010
Today is Father’s Day and I’m very thankful for all of the Dads that we have in the Grace Family. The role of a father has grown and evolved much during my life time, much of it for the better. Fathers today are typically more involved with their children and wives, than my generation was. And they certainly interact more with their kids than previous generations did. Though both of my brothers excelled as athletes, I don’t believe my father ever attended an athletic event. He never met any of our teachers and or went to a Parent-Teacher’s Conference. He never went to the grocery store. We hardly ever interacted or conversed. Basically, he came home from work, sat in his easy chair and read the paper or watched the news on television while my Mom made dinner...and he wasn’t unusual. A father who did “domestic” things was considered browbeaten, even wimpy. It’s very likely, too, that my Dad interacted more than his own father’s generation had with their children. While they worked together on the farm, the gap between a father and his children was rarely bridged.
It is truly a blessing to see more Dads today seek to be involved in their children’s lives! There is an area though, even with major steps forward that we are still failing in among Christian Dads. While fathers have stepped up in being involved in the social, physical, academic and hosts of other areas – most Dads are uninvolved when it comes to the spiritual development of their children. While the Bible clearly teaches that husbands are to be the spiritual leaders in their homes, most are not. Fathering is not about some abstract idea of “family values” or “quality time.” It’s not even about being a “Christian role model” isolated from the people of God. First and foremost, God’s Word teaches that fathering is about the church. Louis R. Tarsitano minces no words as he identifies the gaping problem of ecclesiologically deadbeat dads:
“Given the hard work that it takes to be a Christian man, it isn’t surprising that around the world every Sunday morning perpetual boys throng the golf courses, sleep off Saturday night, or otherwise occupy themselves with pleasures instead of worshiping their God in His Church. They may even feel like he-men for doing so, but they’re not. They are leaving a hole in their families, where a grown-up Christian man is supposed to be. They are leaving a hole in the churches, where boys are meant to learn how to be Christian men from the society of Christian men, and where girls are meant to learn from observation the difference between a godly man and a moral slob.”
So let me say something you won’t hear very often in Christian circles: Look out for number one! Please make your main concern your own spirituality. Think of it like the emergency air masks in an airplane. The safety recitation tells those who are sitting next to smaller children to first secure the mask on your own face then see to the masks of children around you. Without air you won't last to be able to take care of family members around you. The analogy holds for spiritual things. Somehow when it comes to the spiritual leadership of the home and marriage, too many men have failed to see that this is their God-given responsibility. Rarely, is it Dad who encourages the family to be at church. If anything, Dad is the one who comes up with other things to do on Sundays. When a family is looking for a church, Dad is not the one initiating and directing the process. Let me contrast that. If the family was looking for a new car to purchase, most Dads would lead the whole decision making venture like a general leading his troops. Yet what car one drives makes no difference in eternity, but where you go to church and the spiritual diet of that church has eternal implications.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, most pastors will tell you that if a family has determined to leave a certain church, it’s Mom who has initiated the process, not Dad. In fact, what a family gives each week is usually determined by Mom not Dad. If there is a spiritual conversation in the home, it’s rarely Dad who initiated it. While he may know scads of sports info or other “macho” things, he often does not have a clue when it comes to a Biblical worldview. So the bottom line is that when it comes to their children, most Christian Dads aim far too low. They are content with good children and fail to realize that their Heavenly Father has given them a stewardship to raise godly children. Good children make decent grades, basically stay out of trouble, have a work ethic but that has zero to do with their spiritual condition or destiny. It’s the stuff of common grace. You’ll find that most cult parents (Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses) have good children.
Sadly, I find that too many Dads become much more interested in spiritual things after the child rearing years are over. Then, they have time for Bible studies, discipleship groups or men’s retreats. And while it may do their own soul good, the influence on their now adult children is negligible.
George Barna writes that women are twice as likely to attend a church service during any given week and are also 50% more likely than men to say they are ‘religious’ and to state that they are “absolutely committed” to the Christian faith, and the differences seem to be increasing rapidly. Women are more active in all activities of the church, both in public and social activities, and in spiritual activities, such as prayer and Bible study.
Christianity is not just a woman’s faith! God became incarnate as a man and Jesus’ life follows the classic masculine pattern of development. He even had to place some distance between Himself and His mother: He left her as an early adolescent to teach in the temple, to do His Father’s work; to undertake His public ministry; and He had to leave her behind when He died.
A man cannot be a Christian father unless he is a Christian first. Christian fathers should instruct their children, primarily by example. Much of the Bible is instruction in how to be a father, and the father is of key importance in the Christian household in the New Testament. So Dads while we are truly thankful for you, please remember that your first responsibility is to lead your marriage and home in godliness.
