257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105
(262) 763-3021
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We have purchased land on Highways A & W and are planning to build soon! Drive by and take a look at our future home!
“A man is about as big as the things that make him angry”
Winston Churchill
July 11th, 2010
The other day Jane and I were driving home and I became irritated with another driver who was not driving the way that I felt that he should be driving. My dear wife said something to the effect, “You really aren’t exaggerating when you share those sermon illustrations about how irritated that you get with other drivers.” Ouch! Now Jane wasn’t making a dig or rebuking me, she was just making an honest observation. She then went on to observe that I don’t get angry about much but drivers that are not driving the way that I feel that they should do tend to get under my skin. This first demonstrates either that after twenty-seven years of marriage, you can still hide part of your dark side from your spouse or that Jane is too kind. I’m going with the “too kind” story.
I don’t know about you but sometimes, even though I know that I have a sin nature, even though I know that I am depraved – I’m still shocked at how wicked I can be, how evil my thoughts can be.
Anger is a pittbull in my soul that if I’m not careful, if I don’t keep my eye on it nearly every moment, it will take someone by the throat before I know what happened. Even after being a believer for nearly four decades, I am still shocked at the things that can incense me. I wish that I could say that I don’t understand “Road Rage” but I do. A driver that is not driving the “right way” according to Carson’s Book of Professional Driving Skills can nearly send me over the edge. It’s wise, too to not get me going about government. I can get a little warm around the collar when I watch political games rather than true leadership or problem-solving.
The sad thing is that most of my anger is both a waste of time and energy. Other drivers really do not care that I’m fuming. In fact, if I tap my horn to make them aware that maybe they should turn on their signal before coming in my lane right in front of me so I don’t have to slam on my brakes, they usually will get angry at me! And when I write the President or someone in Congress about a matter that I feel they are handling poorly, I always get what is obviously a form letter back. It’s very doubtful that the elected leader ever knew that someone had a concern.
Most of our anger is like that. It rarely does any good, nor does it make any difference. So when I am acting wisely, I instead seek to put my time and energy into the things that will make a difference.
So what gets you really angry? Is it making a difference? Or, are you wasting your time and energy? I have a friend who continually blogs about how she was mistreated years ago. While others who suffered some of the same mistreatment chime in and share their horror stories, it’s not really productive. In fact, it appears to have succumbed to bitterness, if not hatred. A more Biblical approach would be to live out what Joseph said to his brothers, “Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done” (Genesis50:19-20).
I know couples who are continually angry with their spouse for some behavior pattern. Not only does it hurt their relationship, it’s a poor example to their children (whether grown or still at home). Wouldn’t it be better to first ask the Lord what He wants them to learn from this situation, then seek to problem-solve? If the problem is ongoing, instead of being in a continual state of marital anger, wouldn’t it be better to seek out a Christian counselor who can give some Biblical insights and suggest some solutions?
Most of us have one child that just knows how to push our buttons (they often are too much like us). First of all, we know that children are gifts from God. Sometimes God gives us a child with behavioral difficulties to cultivate spiritual fruit in us, to teach us to be more dependent upon Him. Some of us learn to be more patient and self-controlled. The opposite end of the spectrum is that some of us need to learn to not enable and realize that not everyone is going to like us all of the time – even our own children. And God is seeking to develop that spiritual fruit in our lives, sometimes with a difficult child.
There are legitimate times for anger and anger is not necessarily sinful or wrong. That’s not the problem for most of us. We need to let the Lord control our anger and learn to replace anger with patience and self-control. God wants to produce spiritual fruit in us. He is committed to a lifelong pursuit of our sanctification...so I’m working on being more subdued when I drive...what are you working on?
