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Wasn’t there anyone who could have stood between that boy and that bridge?
October 10th , 2010
It’s one question that’s haunting, that seems so obvious and clear in the aftermath of Tyler Clementi’s tragic death. In those days of crushing anguish, humiliation, and confusion: Wasn’t there anyone who could have stood between that boy and that bridge? By all accounts Tyler Clementi was an 18-year-old boy who was excited to be a freshman in college, a gifted violinist...looking forward to the future. That all changed on September 22nd when he walked out onto the massive George Washington Bridge and jumped 200 feet to his death. The last few days of his life were a cauldron of confusions. Over the course of three days, he learned that his roommate at Rutgers, also age 18, had secretly pointed a webcam toward his bed, filming him in a romantic encounter with another male student. The roommate then employed social media to inform friends of the video, turning what Tyler Clementi assumed was a private moment into a devastating public disclosure.
Tyler was crushed, confused, and angry. He posted thoughts about how he might respond, finally writing this on his Facebook page: “Jumping off gw bridge sorry.” His death was part of a recent string of suicides involving youngsters who were believed to have been victims of anti-gay bullying - 15-year-old Billy Lucas hung himself in a barn in Greensburg, IN; Asher Brown, 13, shot himself in the head in Houston; 13-year-old Seth Walsh of Tehachapi, CA hung himself from a tree in his back yard; Four teens in just one month and look at the ages – two just 13, one was 15, and Tyler Clementi was 18. Four dead teenagers who took their own lives and all were struggling with sexual identity.
The gay rights movement was quick to claim that Tyler was a victim of gay bullying. While the motive of his roommate and accomplices is not known, the undeniable result was that Tyler was exposed before the world through the power of social media — in this case a very dangerous power indeed. He was humiliated, angry, and horribly confused. His confusion is evident in his Internet musings, in which he swings in mood from outright indignation to the reflection that, other than this incident, his roommate was basically decent. And somewhere in the midst of his heartbreak and confusion, Tyler decided to end his life. He posted his announcement on his Facebook page and headed for the bridge. There, he ended his short life with a long plunge into the Hudson River.
Reading the news accounts of Tyler’s final days is horrifying. He was betrayed by classmates and exposed to the world. At the age of 18, it was simply too much for him to bear. A young man who possibly never considered suicide in the past, and who might never have considered it again in the future, felt himself pushed on that day beyond his emotional limits, so he pushed himself off the bridge. The homosexual community will argue that Tyler was oppressed by the fact that so many believe that homosexuality is sinful. They respond with calls for the acceptance and normalization of homosexuality. Their logic is easy to understand. If the stigma attached to homosexuality were to disappear, persons who are convinced that they are homosexual in sexual orientation, along with those who are confused, would be free from bullying, the threat of exposure, and injury to their parents and loved ones.
Of course, we as Christians committed to biblical truth recognize this as a demand to lie to sinners about their sin. The Church cannot change its understanding of the sinfulness of homosexuality or any other sexual sin, unless it willfully disobeys Scripture and rejects the authority of the Bible to reveal the truth about sin and sinfulness. The Church cannot surrender to the demand that we disobey or reformat God’s truth. We can’t lie to persons about the sinfulness of their sin, nor comfort them with falsehood about their moral accountability before God. The rush of liberal denominations to normalize homosexuality is open disobedience to the Bible. But when gay activists accuse Christians of homophobia, they’re wrong. Our concern about the sinfulness of homosexuality is not rooted in fear; it’s rooted in faithfulness to the Bible. Faithfulness means telling the truth. Yet, when gay activists accuse Christians of homophobia, they’re also right. Too often our response to homosexuality is rooted in both ignorance and fear. We speak of homosexuals as a particular class of especially depraved sinners and we lie about how homosexuals experience their own struggle. Far too many evangelicals talk about sexual orientation with a crude dismissal or with glib assurances that gay persons simply choose to be gay. While most evangelicals know that the Bible condemns homosexuality, far too many find comfort in their own self-righteousness, consigning homosexuals to a theological or moral category all their own.
But what if Tyler Clementi had been at Grace? What if he had been in our church? Would he have heard biblical truth presented in a context of humble truth-telling and gospel urgency, or would he have heard irresponsible slander, sarcastic jabs, and moralistic self-congratulation? The teen years are hard enough to navigate. While most teens do not struggle with homosexuality, there’s not a teenager alive who does not struggle with sexual confusion. No one makes the journey through adolescence unscathed and without sin. There’s not a human being who reaches college age who would not be humiliated by a well-placed webcam. And yet these teens imagine themselves to be alone in their confusion and helpless in their anguish. So was there no one to step between Tyler and that bridge? Wasn’t there a friend, classmate, or a trusted adult who had the courage and compassion to reach out to him and offer hope? Wasn’t there anyone who could tell him that the anguish of his moment was temporary? Anyone to put into perspective the fact that people who did not love him had taken advantage of him, but that the many who did love him would love him no less? Wasn’t there even one believer in his life to befriend Tyler and, without loving his homosexuality, love him? To share with him that there was hope, there was grace – there was God? What if he had been our brother or our son? The Tylers and Ashers and Billys and Seths are all around us. They’re in our schools, neighborhoods, churches...and in our homes. They, like us, desperately need to hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to know the grace of God toward sinners. They, like us, need to know the mercy of God extended to sinners through Christ Jesus. They, like us, need to repent of their sins and learn by grace how to grow into faithfulness. They, like us, need to know that they are loved if they are going to trust Christians to tell them about Jesus. And even long before they may hear or respond to the gospel, they need to know that they are loved and cherished for who they are. They need to know that we stand between them and those who would harm them. They need to know that we know how to love sinners because we have been loved despite our own sin. The one question that is so haunting, so obviously clear in the account of Tyler Clementi’s tragic death...in those days of crushing anguish, humiliation, and confusion: Wasn’t there anyone who could have stood between that boy and that bridge?
