Grace Church
257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105

(262) 763-3021

Following Jesus means knowing how to grieve John 11:1-16 Following Jesus without Freaking out Sermon 04 Video Clip of September 11th - http://youtube.com/watch?v=YhCoD94YDAg They say that the busiest day of phone usage is Mother’s Day. I have to believe that the phone traffic, particularly the cell phone traffic on September 11th far exceeded all previously set records. I know that I was doing everything I could to reach my brother, Mark, who works in New York City to make certain that he was okay that day.   Can you imagine what it was like to have been on the other end of one of those phone calls? Phone calls from hijacked airplanes, phone calls from the Pentagon, phone calls from the World Trade Center. Everyone who was using their phones began their conversation with pretty much the same question. They asked, “Where are you?” Some callers received assurance that those on the other end of the line were safe and out of harm’s way. But for many, those calls were to say good-bye – to let their loved ones know that they were trapped on one of the upper floors of the World Trade Center…that they knew that they were not going to make it out alive. The biggest question of the day was, “Where are you?”   As often as that question was asked and as important as it was, it was dwarfed in comparison to the other question of 2001: Where was God? People began to ask this question almost immediately following the events of that horrible day. Did God know about the attacks before they happened? And if He knew about the attacks, why did He allow them to happen? Why didn’t He stand as a giant shield between those planes and their targets? Where was God? That’s the question Jesus faced at a home that was grieving over the loss of a loved one. The family members asked Him, “Jesus, where were you?” Turn to John 11:1-16 (p. 760).   What is grief? Author, Edgar N. Jackson, poignantly describes grief: “Grief is a young widow trying to raise her three children, alone. Grief is the man so filled with shocked uncertainty and confusion that he strikes out at the nearest person. Grief is a mother walking daily to a nearby cemetery to stand quietly and alone a few minutes before going about the tasks of the day. She knows that part of her is in the cemetery, just as part of her is in her daily work. Grief is the silent, knife-like terror and sadness that comes a hundred times a day, when you start to speak to someone who is no longer there. Grief is the emptiness that comes when you eat alone after eating with another for many years. Grief is teaching yourself to go to bed without saying good night to the one who has died. Grief is the helpless wishing that things were different when you know they are not and never will be again. Grief is a whole cluster of adjustments, apprehensions, and uncertainties that strike life in its forward progress and make it difficult to redirect the energies of life.”   All of us need to know how to handle grief because death is still the master of our race and nothing can be done about it. Death brings the greatest pain and sorrow that we deal with. So how do we deal with this sorrow that is an inevitable part of life? How do we learn to grieve like Jesus? As Christians, we do not grieve like those who do not know the Lord. Following Jesus means knowing how to grieve.   In John 11 we find Jesus ministering to a family after the loss of a loved one. As our Lord deals with the members of this family that He so loved, He models for us how to face death and handle grief. What’s the first truth that we learn? 1. In times of grief our faith is challenged, vss. 17-27. Do you like waiting? I’m not a good waiter. Patience is that one fruit of the Spirit I seem to be most lacking in.   One company offered tours through a historic district, led by guides dressed in early American colonial clothing. While leading a group, one of the guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital and as he sat waiting in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at him in his 18th century garb the officer asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?"   Martha was waiting for Jesus. Her family had sent messengers to the Lord three days before. Hearing Jesus is on His way, she goes to meet Him. This is very characteristic of her. She’s a woman of action. Mary, on the other hand, in line with her more contemplative, retiring nature, waits at home.   Martha greets Jesus with a phrase that must have been frequently on all of their lips when Lazarus was sick. How many times must they have said, “Where’s Jesus? If only Jesus were here.” Now I don’t believe that she’s rebuking Jesus. She’s not saying, “Lord, why didn't you come sooner? We sent for you. If you’d responded sooner, Lazarus would still be alive.” It’s clear from the account that she realizes that the message did not reach Jesus until after Lazarus was dead. There was no way He could have responded and gotten there before Lazarus died. Her words are not one of reproach but rather of regret: "Lord, I wish you could have been here, because if you had, my brother would not have died.” Then, she goes on to say, “But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”   Some mistakenly think that Martha is looking for the immediate resurrection of her brother. I don’t think so. So what is she looking for? What does she want from Jesus? She’s looking for His comfort, the release from pain only God can give to a heart so burdened and saddened. God alone can give marvelous inward peace. This is what Martha is asking for, "Even now, Lord, even though he is gone..."   As we listen in, we can see Martha’s faith is placed right where ours often is, in what she thought would happen but not in who Jesus really is and not in who she is dealing with. Think about this. Often we’ll say something like, “I know God has worked in the past and I know He’ll work again in the future, but today, well, this is not the day of miracles"? Have you ever felt that way? I mean, in the daily grind of life our world just seems to be so barren of miracles that we think, "Those days have gone. God can't work now. He will work again, though..." That’s Martha's faith. It’s a faith in the distant future, at the resurrection of the last day. And while her theology is accurate, she’s forgotten that God is right there in the here and now.   But Jesus challenges her faith. He shakes up the spiritual status quo. That’s precisely what Jesus brings to her attention. He says, “I AM the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” He shifts her focus back from God’s future program for the ages to His present Person. Jesus is saying that wherever He is, then anything God ever did or can do can happen! He’s saying that the events of the last days can happen now, anytime and anywhere that He the Lord of Time chooses. He’s saying, "Martha, don't talk about the 'last days.' That will happen, God's program will be carried out but don’t sell short the Son of God and His power. When He’s involved in a situation, you can expect God to work in His own way in time.”   Martha, like us, puts God in a box. We know He did great things in the past and that He’s going to do great things in the future. But now, in our life, in the present, we don’t have a lot of faith. Do we really believe that God can work in our lives? Is there someone that we’re praying will get saved but we don’t really believe it will happen? Are we going through the motions of praying that God will intervene in a certain situation but don’t really believe that He will? If we are, we have a past/future powerful God. Jesus is trying to shake us up so that we have a present/now powerful God!   Then, Jesus covers all the fears of men in these wonderful words. He alludes to two groups of believers here.  First, “He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies.” He’s referring to those who have already died. It doesn’t matter that they’re buried and their bodies are turning to dust. We all have loved ones in that category. He shares a word of hope addressed to those left behind. “He who believes in me will live and…will never die”   Prior to his Home going, D. L. Moody, said, “One day you will hear that D. L. Moody of Northfield, Massachusetts, is dead. Don't you believe it! In that day I will be more alive than I have ever been before." That’s exactly what Jesus is saying here.   There’s a second group, “whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” Now He’s talking about you and me. We’re not dead but what about our future? The Greek phrasing here is very strong. It literally says, "He will never, ever die forever." He’ll pass from this scene, yes, through what to all appearances looks like death, but there will be no darkness, no loneliness, no separation, no limitation of his powers; he will pass immediately into life. That’s the great hope that caused the Apostle Paul to cry out, “O, death, where is your sting?”      Twice Jesus states the condition, "He who believes in me." Scripture offers no hope to those who do not believe in Jesus. To those who trust Him and receive His offer of grace He extends this marvelous promise, but to those who refuse it, those who do not believe it, there is nothing ahead but darkness.   And Martha has a wonderful response, “Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.” She says that “I believe You are (three things); the Messiah (the Christ); the Son of God (the divine Child of God, the One who is Deity Himself); and, He Who is coming into the world (the predicted one of the prophets)." You can’t ask for a greater response than that. She gets it. She says, "Okay, Lord, I’m not going to focus on the program, I am going to focus on your Person. You are Who you claim to be!” 2. In times of grief our pain is shared, vss. 28-37. Though Mary greets Jesus with the same words as Martha, she does so in a totally different atmosphere. John stresses here that when Jesus saw her, she was weeping and all those who came with her were weeping. When Martha came to Him she was far more stoic and resigned. There was no sign she was weeping or broken up, though she must have grieved inside tremendously.   Martha’s faith, which Jesus focused upon, needed to be stretched. But when Mary comes she is overwhelmed with her feelings. Her heart is broken. She’s torn apart with grief and pain. It’s obvious she’s suffering tremendously from a deep sense of loss of her dear brother.   Jesus' reaction here is very significant. He was "deeply moved in spirit and troubled." It’s very difficult to capture in English exactly what the Greek text is saying. The Greek word for "deeply moved in spirit" is a word that only occurs three or four times in the New Testament. Each time it’s associated with a sense of indignation, anger. It’s the same word used to describe a horse snorting with anger.   Now this is not the response we’d expect but Jesus is indignant. He’s angry and it showed on His face. John emphasizes that Jesus’ reaction to the deep grief of Mary and her friends is one of great anger. Why? What’s Jesus angry at? Obviously, He’s not angry at Mary or the people who came with her.   Let me share what I believe is going on here. For the past few months I’ve been trying to keep up on what’s going on in Dafur. 300,000 people have died in that crisis since February 2003 and an estimated 1.2 million people have been displaced. There are an additional 300,000 refugees in what human rights groups refer to as prison enclaves in Sudan, with no access to international relief. When I read about the suffering of these people, my blood begins to boil. I feel anger at their terrible suffering caused by sin. That’s what we have here. Jesus is angry at the terrible, painful results of evil. Sin killed Lazarus. It’s the same sort of anger you feel when you read of a little boy who is beaten to death by his own father, or molested and sexually destroyed by some adult whom he trusts.   But there’s also another reaction here. It says that Jesus asked where they had laid Lazarus and as He started out to the tomb, that "He wept." This word isn’t the same as the word which described the Jews' and Mary's weeping earlier. The word literally means "He broke into tears." Jesus began to shed tears. While walking to the tomb, His grief overwhelmed Him. He so sympathized with them that He broke into tears.   The Jews seeing this said, "See how He loved him." But I believe that they missed it. It’s true Jesus loved Lazarus but that’s not why He’s weeping. He knows that He’s about to raise Lazarus from the dead, that in a few minutes this whole weeping crowd will be transformed into rejoicing people who can hardly believe what’s happened. He knows that in a few moments Mary and Martha are going to have their dear brother back again in their arms. Jesus is weeping because of His compassion. He’s sharing their heartache, weeping with them and for them in their pain.   In his powerful book, No Wonder They Call Him the Savior, Max Lucado writes: “Tears. Those tiny drops of humanity. Those round, wet balls of fluid that tumble from our eyes, creep down our cheeks, and splash on the floor of our hearts...They are always present at such times. They should be, that's their job. They are miniature messengers; on call twenty-four hours a day to substitute for crippled words. They drip, drop, and pour from the corner of our souls, carrying with them the deepest emotions we possess. They tumble down our faces with announcements that range from the most blissful joy to darkest despair. The principle is simple; when words are most empty, tears are most apt. A tear stain on a letter says much more than the sum of all its words. A tear falling on a casket says what a spoken farewell never could. What summons a mother's compassion and concern more quickly than a tear on a child's cheek? What gives more support than a sympathetic tear on the face of a friend?”   Is there anything more beautifully descriptive of the nature of God than this? He sympathizes with them. It’s a precious thing to have someone sympathize with us. In Romans 12 Paul urges us to “weep with those who weep” (vs. 15). Here our Lord Himself sets the example. Even knowing He’s going to turn it all around, Jesus still feels the sorrow of their hearts and weeps with them and for them. 3. In times of grief our perspective is changed, vss. 38-46. I don’t know if Winston Churchill was a believer or not but his funeral certainly communicated hope. As the British Prime Minister made plans for his funeral, he requested that his casket be placed under the massive dome in the center of the St. Paul's Cathedral. He then requested that two trumpeters be stationed on each end of the balcony that circles the dome. It was his wish that at the close of the service the trumpeter on one side would play taps, but when he was finished the trumpeter on the other side was to play reveille. As Christians, we live in the light of eternity and live in the constant hope of hearing reveille, God's wake up call, when we will be welcomed Home by Him. Lazarus heard reveille played by Jesus Himself.   Jesus always changes our perspective of death. Think about this. If Jesus can’t do anything about death, then whatever else He can do really amounts to nothing.   As we come to this final scene, there are still two obstacles remaining before Jesus can raise Lazarus: a physical and a spiritual one. The physical obstacle is the stone. Lazarus’ tomb was a cave. Notice though that our Lord does not wave His hands and the stone vanishes. That’s what Batman or some other super-character of our day might do. But there is none of that here. Jesus says to the people, "Take away the stone." There’s always this remarkable combination of the divine and the human at work in our Lord's miracles and so it is the people who remove the stone.   Then, there’s the spiritual obstacle, Martha's lack of faith: "Lord, don't do this. We’ll all be offended by the odor." Notice how He answers. He doesn’t rebuke her, He encourages her with the words, "Remember what I said." The word of God removes this obstacle which her momentary doubt interjected. “Remember what I said. Did I not say to you that ‘if you would believe you would see the glory of God?’ Trust me." How many times our faith needs some encouragement, some momentary word from God’s Word to steady us, to keep us from faltering. That’s what Martha needed.   Then, Jesus says a simple prayer, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. I knew that You always hear Me; but because of the people standing around I said it, so that they may believe that You sent Me” (vss. 41-42). He prays out loud for the sake of the people there. He wants them to see that God the Father is involved with Him in this, that He’s not some magic worker coming to astonish them, but that God is with Him. He calls on God to work and He has every assurance, without the slightest doubt, that He will. It’s a simple prayer of gratitude, a wonderful expression, spoken aloud to prove that God is behind Him. When He had said this, Jesus cried with a loud voice, "Lazarus, come forth." And the dead man came walking out. What a sight that must have been! One Puritan writer noted that if Jesus had not named Lazarus when He shouted, He would have emptied the whole cemetery! Jesus called Lazarus and raised him from the dead. It was an unquestioned miracle that even the most hostile spectator could not deny.   The experience of Lazarus is a good illustration of what happens to a sinner when he trusts Christ as Savior (Eph. 2:1-10). Lazarus was dead, and all sinners are dead. He was decayed, because death and decay go together. All lost people are spiritually dead but some are more "decayed" than others. No one though can be "more dead" than another. Lazarus is raised from the dead by the power of God. All who trust Christ have been given new life and lifted out of the graveyard of sin (John 5:24). Lazarus was set free from the grave clothes (Col. 3:1) and given new liberty. You find him seated with Christ at the table (John 12:2) and all believers are "seated with Christ" in heavenly places (Eph. 2:6), enjoying spiritual food and fellowship. Because of the great change in Lazarus, many people desired to see him; and his "living witness" was used by God to bring people to salvation (John 12:9-11). There are no recorded words of Lazarus in the Gospels, but his daily walk is enough to convince people that Jesus is the Son of God. And because of his effective witness Lazarus was persecuted by the religious leaders who wanted to kill him and get rid of the evidence.   We think of death as final but it’s not. For the believer, we pass from this temporary world to the real world for all eternity. Following Jesus means that during times of grief our faith is challenged, our pain is shared and our perspective is changed. 2. What do we need to know about grief? By observing the grief of Jesus, we find a number of principles for enduring grief as Jesus did. These principles include...   a) Grief is inevitable. We often wonder if we’ll have to endure a trial of loss but that's the wrong question. The only question we should ask ourselves is, when suffering comes, how will I respond? Our unwillingness to accept the inevitability of grief is one of the reasons we often feel that loss is so unfair. In one sense, it is unfair. It’s never fair when we lose someone we love. There’s never a good time to experience grief. In another sense, though, grief is a universal and inevitable part of the human condition. When loss comes into our lives, when someone we love is taken from us, we are not experiencing anything but what all people experience at one time or another. Grief is inevitable.   b) Grief is painful. Jesus suffered greatly when He lost a friend and He didn't try to hide or suppress His grief. He wept. He groaned within. He raged against the pain of grief. Jesus expressed His pain and emotions with complete honesty. Jesus grieved and wept because He understood that death is an enemy. He knew the pain and grief that Mary and Martha felt. He knew what Lazarus had gone through as he slipped into the shadow of death. Even though Lazarus would rise again, Jesus grasped the awful reality of death and loss. Grief is painful and the experience of loss is about the closest thing to unbearable suffering we’re ever called to endure.   c) Grief is baffling. Death is a mystery. When we lose someone we love, the loss often stuns and shocks us, sending us reeling. We wonder why God allowed it to happen. We wonder if God is in control and if He really knows what He’s doing. During a trial of grief the world seems as if it no longer makes sense. Loss is one of the most baffling and perplexing of all human experiences.   d) Grief is a process. Every process requires time. No one gets over grief quickly. Jesus didn't and you won't either. When Jesus learned John the Baptist had been executed, He took his disciples away from the crowds to a remote place. He knew He had a process of grief ahead of Him and He needed time to mourn.   And grief is an intensely personal experience. No two people grieve in exactly the same way. No one can tell you how you should grieve. As you go through the grief process, it may be best for you to talk about your feelings—or be silent; to weep—or sit quietly; to feel sad—or feel angry.   You must go through the process in your own time and in your own way. And don't expect the pain of your loss to ever completely go away. Those who say time heals all wounds don't know what they're talking about. Time does enable you to gain new insights and a new perspective, but the sense of loss never completely goes away. That doesn't mean you won't experience joy and happiness again, because you will. In time you’ll begin enjoying the present instead of dwelling on memories of the past. You won't ever forget your loss, you wouldn't want to. But you will adjust to it and the memories of your loved one will inspire you and carry you through the rest of your days.   e) Grief can be a purposeful experience. One of the worst aspects of a loss is that it seems so pointless and purposeless. In time, however, you will gain a perspective on your loss which will enable you to say, "I can see how God can use even this to produce something good." What are some of the good things God can bring out of a terrible experience such as grief?   * Grief can often increase our capacity to comfort others. The experience of grief gives us an extra dimension of empathy that we can use to help other people.   * Grief can often lead us to a deeper relationship with God. A trial of suffering can drive us deeper into prayer and into the Scriptures for strength and support. As we learn to rely more completely on God, we grow in faith.   * Grief can often produce the character of Jesus in us. We know Jesus suffered grief, loss, pain and hardship. As we suffer these same experiences, we identify with Him and learn to build His character traits into our lives. The result is that we become more like Jesus. Isaiah wrote that Jesus was “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” He understands our pain because He has entered into our pain. He’s endured suffering and sorrow for us and with us. We can be like Jesus because He chose to be like us, and endured the sorrow and loss that’s common to us all. Conclusion: Alice Matthews, of the Radio Bible Class, who had an adult son killed while riding his bike in France said that since that moment life has changed, it has gone from a Major key to a Minor key. A tragic death makes a huge difference in our lives. But with Jesus at the center of our lives, we can go forward. Tragic loss will test our faith. There may be a time of struggle when you don’t want to talk to God. But hold unto Him, for He’s the resurrection and the life.   Apart from trust in God, the world is a cemetery, but into the world God has sent in Jesus, resurrection life, the opportunity to pass from death to life. Just as the crowds wanted bread and Jesus offered them living bread, so here these two sisters want their brother returned and Jesus offers resurrection life to them and to the whole world. Yes, apart from trust in God, life is a cemetery, but into this dying world God has sent Jesus with the offer of resurrection life.   Maybe your feelings of grief have been stirred today? As a way of bringing closure to this service, I want to give you an opportunity to talk to the Lord about your grief. We want to remember the person you love today, we want to thank God for their life and offer a prayer of support for those of you who are grieving.   Grief is painful, even for those who know Christ. But let’s remember that Jesus understands and as we weep, Jesus weeps with us and for us.   One day all our tears will be gone and His resurrection life will prevail eternally. There’s coming a day soon when Jesus will speak to the dead once again and breathe life into our shadow of death. There is life after loss as we keep Jesus and His resurrection hope at the center of our lives. Following Jesus means knowing how to grieve.