257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105
(262) 763-3021
We have purchased land on Highways A & W and are planning to build soon!
Drive by and take a look at our future home!
Guess who’s coming to dinner?
Sermon 11
January 10th, 2010
In Judith Viorst’s famous children’s book, I’ll Fix Anthony, the younger brother complains about the way his older brother Anthony continually mistreats him: “My brother Anthony can read books now, but he won’t read any books to me. He plays checkers with Bruce from his school. But when I want to play he says, ‘Go away or I’ll clobber you.’ I let him wear my Snoopy sweatshirt, but he never lets me borrow his sword. Mother says deep down in his heart Anthony loves me. Anthony says deep down in his heart he thinks I stink. Mother says deep deep down in his heart, where he doesn’t even know it, Anthony loves me. Anthony says deep deep down in his heart he still thinks I stink. When I’m six I’ll fix Anthony…Anthony is chasing me out of the playroom. He says I stink. He says he is going to clobber me. I have to run now, but I won’t have to run when I’m six. When I’m six, I’ll fix Anthony.”
So who’s your Anthony? Who do you want to “fix”? Our society is obsessed with revenge. Bumper stickers frequently display our philosophy of life, ones like…Do unto others before they can do unto you...I don’t get mad, I get even…Keep honking, I’m reloading…To err is human, to forgive is out of the question. While most of us would love to have our enemies for dinner, we wouldn’t invite them over to join us for dinner, yet that’s precisely what Joseph does, Genesis 43:15-34.
Twenty years have passed. Famine has struck the whole region. This is the brothers’ second trip to Egypt for food. While they don’t recognize Joseph, he recognizes them. He remembers how they plotted to kill him, ultimately deciding to just sell him into slavery…which was little more than a living death. They were heartless, hateful and cruel. Joseph would have been acting justly if he’d had them imprisoned, even executed.
What Joseph does instead is so much like God. It is real Christianity before there was Christianity. An often overlooked yet essential passage for a healthy Christian life is found in Romans 12:17-21. We’re commanded: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink…Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” It’s Guess who’s coming to dinner? Your worst enemy!
When you think of someone who has done you wrong, what face pops into your head? An ex-spouse, a former employer or employee, a sibling, a neighbor, a criminal? Does the mere mention of their name cause your blood to boil? Do you struggle with bitterness, even hatred toward them? What we find Joseph doing for his brothers is exactly what a loving God does for us. It’s true that Hell, the fear of God’s wrath and facing His justice, causes many to repent and to run to the Cross, but I want to suggest that more come to Jesus because of the love of God than the wrath of God.
When John Stott pastored All Souls Church in London, on one occasion he polled his members. He was startled to discover that the vast majority had been brought to Christ, not by an acute awareness of their sin, as he had supposed, but because of the love of Jesus displayed in the Gospel.
That’s not to say that God does not use other means to awaken the conscience and bring us to the place where we repent and can recognize and respond to His love. We’ve seen God already use some of those to bring these brothers to Egypt in the first place: famine, pressure, guilt, starvation. Yet it’s God’s love poured through Joseph, it’s the forgiveness for that which is so heinous that awakens these sin hardened brothers.
As we work our way though this latter part of Genesis 43, we won’t have time to answer every question on how a believer is to deal with an “enemy.” Let me encourage you though to come before the Lord with an open heart, submit before Him and ask the Spirit to reveal to you poison that may be contaminating your soul, to give you wisdom if there are changes that you need to make or actions that you need to initiate as you deal with those who have wronged you. Our text has vital lessons for us about both grace and guilt. If you’re taking notes, let me suggest that…
Lesson #1: Grace enables us to be gracious. Some years ago when Dr. Fred Craddock was teaching an undergraduate course in Oklahoma on the Gospels of Jesus, he was taking the simple writings of Jesus and putting them plainly in front of his students. One girl was sitting in the back of the class, and as he came to the part about Jesus’ teaching on loving your enemies, she stood up and started slamming her books. Then, she started mumbling, "Jesus and the losers. I hate Jesus and the losers. I can't stand this." She stuffed her bag and left the classroom, still mumbling, "Jesus and a bunch of losers, forgiving their enemies." If you allow God’s love to flow through you and are gracious to your enemies, some people are going to think that you’re nuts. They’re going to label you a loser.
Verse 16 says, “When Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to the steward of his house, ‘Take these men to my house, slaughter an animal and prepare dinner; they are to eat with me at noon’.” Grace enables us to be gracious. How would you have responded? Have you ever thought about how Joseph could have responded?
a) Joseph could have imprisoned or executed them. He now knows that both Benjamin and his father, Jacob, are alive. He doesn’t need these brothers anymore. Sure, it would have hurt his father but after Jacob found out what they’d done to Joseph, he’d have understood and probably accepted it. They’d be getting what they deserved and surely even Jacob could see that.
Imprisonment and execution of our enemies is not an option for most of us, but if we have an opportunity, we’re not above doing a little character assassination. We’ll trash talk them and share with others how wronged that we have been. If we got the chance, we’d love to verbally nuke them and give them a piece of our mind…even humiliate them publically.
b) Joseph could have welcomed Benjamin and ostracized the other ten. Joseph could have made it so that they’d never be able to step foot in Egypt again. No one would ever sell them even a kernel of grain. Joseph could have shunned them.
Family members may go years without speaking to one another because of a disagreement. Church members will have an interminable cold war.
Believers have a falling out with one another because of their children. The kids squabble like kids always do, and the “mature” parents issue a declaration of war. When we were in Danville years ago, two boys had had a fight and the Dads got involved in it until one Dad lost his cool, asking the other man, “if he wanted to step outside?” Tragically, both of these men were leaders in that church and to my knowledge, it was never resolved.
c) Joseph could have ignored the situation. This is probably the most common approach, even among believers. They’re wounded, often legitimately. They struggle with bitterness but rather than seek to problem-solve, they sweep it under the rug. Too often it comes back. When there’s another issue down the road, all that unresolved anger comes pouring out like hot lava from a volcano.
d) Joseph seeks to problem solve and restore the relationship. What Joseph does here for even many Christians is inconceivable. His brothers had plotted to kill him. They’d ignored his cries for mercy, yet now, twenty years later, he invites them to his home as his special guests for dinner.
He not only wants to fix the past, he wants to restore the relationship, so he takes the initiative. Now sometimes it’s not possible to restore a relationship. Remember Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” But like Joseph, as much as we can, we should try.
Joseph does what is humanly impossible but not for God’s grace. He seeks to forget the past and treats them as honored guests.
Lesson #2: Guilt causes us to think the worst. If it wasn’t so sad, vs. 18 would be laughable, “Now the men were frightened when they were taken to his house. They thought, ‘We were brought here because of the silver that was put back into our sacks the first time. He wants to attack us and overpower us and seize us as slaves and take our donkeys’.”
Shakespeare, in King Henry VI, wrote, “Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.” When you’re feeling guilty over some wrong you have done, little things begin to play with your imagination, causing the mind to race, apprehension and suspicion to grow…Someone is going to find out.
The aggression that their imaginations are conjuring up are described in four consecutive actions, “attack…overpower…seize…take.” It’s absurd. Joseph is second in command over all of Egypt. Do they really think that he needs more donkeys? That’s as dumb as thinking that Michael Jordan wants to steal your basketball or Bill Gates is going to filch your computer. But that’s what guilt does to us. It causes us to imagine the absurd and consider it viable. Guilt causes us to misinterpret simple acts of kindness. We look for ulterior motives where there are none. They fear an ambush in this dinner invitation. Guilty people generally attempt to cope with guilt in one of Four Ways. We see some of these with Joseph’s brothers.
a) Some try to redirect guilt. We do what we can to keep from admitting any of our guilt. We might do this by rationalizing our behavior or blaming someone else. I suspect we may have heard the brothers of Joseph saying things like, "He had it coming" or "That should teach him to walk around like he's better than the rest of us." Or maybe, "It was for the boy's own good. Someone needed to put him in his place.”
Ours is a society that is particularly skilled in rationalizing or blaming. We’re a nation of victims. When someone is caught in a wrong you’ll hear: I had a dysfunctional home (I'm not responsible, blame my upbringing); It’s just the way I am (I'm not responsible, blame my genes or God!); They started it (I'm not responsible, they are); I didn't know that was against the law (I'm not responsible, it’s your fault because you didn't tell me); I’ve been oppressed (I'm not responsible, society is).
Some people are so skilled at rationalization that they don't take responsibility for anything they do and they are among the most dangerous people in the world. We hear about them as they defend themselves for doing some horrendous things. But it’s not a tactic reserved for just the horrific criminal…you and I do it too.
b) Some try to bury guilt. If that doesn't work, we might seek to bury the guilt. It’s really simple, if you deny the guilt maybe it will go away. For twenty years these brothers sought to bury their guilt. It’s my belief that they never talked about it. The problem is that while you can bury guilt, you can't get rid of it. As soon as the pressure began to build for them, all of the guilt came bubbling up. Listen to them bickering with each other, "Didn't I tell you not to harm the boy?" (Genesis 42:22).
You can bury guilt deep but like toxic waste, it eventually works it's way back to the surface in some form. It may manifest itself in strained relationships. It may rear it's head in physical ailments such has high blood pressure, depression, nervousness to name a few. Guilt may even reveal itself in a constant state of dread that comes from the fear of being "found out." That’s what we see with these ten brothers.
c) Some try to pay for guilt. The dilemma is: How much is enough? How big of a bill do you need to pay for…the child that was aborted; the person (often a parent) you refused to be reconciled with before they died; the children you abandoned; the immoral relationships you were involved in; the unknown person you stole from; the classmate from years ago that you belittled and abused before they moved away; the dishonesty you engaged in; the teacher (or student) you tormented.
Attempting to pay for the past by working harder is a frustrating and discouraging way of handling guilt…because it never seems to be enough. You become driven by a guilt that seems uneraseable. The end result is a lingering depression or a frustration that comes out in a negative attitude or an angry spirit.
These brothers were attempting to do this when they brought gifts for the Prime Minister (Joseph). There’s nothing wrong with trying to make things right. That's appropriate. However, it’s impossible to undo the past by doing good things in the present.
d) Some are freed because they confess their guilt. This is the only cure for guilt. To be healed and forgiven, guilt must be confessed. We have a responsibility to confess our wrong to the people we offend (when possible) and to God. Ultimately every offense is an offense against God. Scripture promises that "If we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).
It’s important that we understand what it means to "confess" our sin. It simply means to "agree with God." It means we must recognize the horror of what we’ve done and we must have a desire to turn from such behavior, and never engage in it again. The Bible calls this an attitude of repentance.
Merely saying you’re sorry isn’t enough. If a person offends you, says they’re sorry, and then does the same thing again and again, don't you question the sincerity and depth of their sorrow? God promises to forgive those who sincerely confess their sin. It's not so much the words as it is the attitude of the heart.
God did not design us to deal with guilt. That’s why guilt always does a number on us. It’s like a cancer and must be addressed or it will kill us.
Lesson #3: Guilt clouds out our seeing God, vss. 19-23. They’re shaking in their sandals and this heathen says, “It’s all right.” The Hebrew word is Shalom or “be at peace.” Then, the steward points out that God has given them a treasure but they suspect a trap. This word treasure is noteworthy. It refers to concealed wealth.
What is so tragic here is that the people of God need to have the goodness of God pointed out to them by a pagan. The brothers only utter God’s name as a source of fear, dread and judgment but a heathen steward sees God as a source of blessing and treasure. To confirm to them that there’s no hidden ambush or plot, he immediately brings their brother, Simeon, out to them.
A heathen witnesses to them about the goodness of their God. He has a better handle on theology than they did, but Joseph’s brothers assumed the worst. It never crossed their minds that this return of their money might be the abundant grace of God being poured out on them. Why? Because guilt kept them from seeing God’s hand of grace in their lives. It always does!
Lesson #4: Graciousness is rewarded with gladness. To Joseph’s brothers nothing is more important than those pistachio nuts and almonds. These nuts, along with other products from the land of Canaan, were expected to win Joseph’s favor. He never gave them a glance. He didn’t ask how they were grown or what year they were produced. He didn’t care! Joseph was only concerned with people, not pistachio nuts. He cared about his brother Benjamin, his father Jacob, and the rest of his brothers.
His first utterance sought information on the health of his aged father (vs. 27). Next he turns his attention to Benjamin, who he’s not seen for over twenty years. He pronounces upon Benjamin a blessing which must have sounded strange coming from an Egyptian, “God be gracious to you, my son.” Benjamin was in diapers when Joseph had been sold into Egypt. It had been twenty years. He’s so filled with joy that he can hardly control his emotions.
I’m sure that his mind flooded with memories of his mother, Rachel, and her tragic death giving birth to the man before him now. Benjamin, his only full brother stands in his very presence. Yet, there can be no contact, no acknowledgement of the relationship—at least not for the time being. The test is not yet complete. Overcome with emotion, Joseph rushes from the room into a private chamber where he freely sheds tears of joy, relief and heartache (v. 30). Apart from Joseph’s graciousness, this reunion would never have taken place. I wonder how many glad reunions you and I miss out on because we fail to initiate restoration of a relationship.
Lesson #5: Graciousness is not gullibility. Genesis 43 concludes with, “The men had been seated before him in the order of their ages, from the firstborn to the youngest; and they looked at each other in astonishment. When portions were served to them from Joseph’s table, Benjamin’s portion was five times as much as anyone else’s. So they feasted and drank freely with him” (vss. 33-34).
In his commentary on Genesis, The Genesis Record, Dr. Henry Morris, explains the reason behind their astonishment: “After they were assigned to their seats at their table, the eleven brothers noted a remarkable thing. They had been seated in order of age, from the eldest through the youngest. If this was a mere coincidence, it was indeed marvelous. One can easily show…that there are no less than 39,917,000 different orders in which eleven individuals could have been seated! …Evidently, this man knew a great deal more about their family than they had realized; or else had some kind of supernatural power. They had no answer, and could only wonder about it.”
Joseph’s brothers were astonished at the way that they’re being treated. They’d expected punishment, a tongue lashing, being sold into slavery, even death but not this. Now here they were, seated according to age, dining with the prime minister of the greatest empire of that day. And it was a feast fit for a king! Fresh salads with all the fixings, thick T-bone steaks with lobster tails on the side, huge baked potatoes, rolls, corn muffins and biscuits, super sized glasses of sweet wine…more desserts than Baker’s Square. Besides that, they didn’t have to go back for seconds, the prime minister kept unloading more and more food items from his own table BUT Benjamin was served portions five times the size of the other brothers – Why?
Benjamin’s head must have been reeling at the obvious preferential treatment. BUT there was method to his madness. Joseph was testing them. He’s recreating the old sibling rivalry. If there was any jealousy toward Benjamin, this special treatment by so powerful a figure as the prime minister, would certainly bring it to the surface. As his father’s preferential treatment and the coat of many colors had brought out such hatred, Joseph is seeing if those same feelings are there for Benjamin. He’s the baby and he wants to see if this special favor will bring out any envy. Remember too that they do not know that Joseph understands everything that they’re saying. But not one evil word, not even a hint of jealousy comes out. Instead, it was a party atmosphere, “they feasted and drank freely with him.” They were a bit inebriated and everyone knows that intoxicated individuals become very, very honest. But nothing happens.
This is a small test and Joseph has bigger ones planned. Yet, it’s obvious that God has been working in the lives of these once cruel men.
Scripture is very clear that we are to forgive when someone confesses and repents. If there though is true repentance, there will be “fruits of repentance.” We are, as Matthew 3:8 says, to “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.”
Conclusion: Let’s tie this up this morning with some Some Take Home Truths about guilt and grace.
* Guilt is valuable. Guilt is not necessarily an enemy. Most counselors today see guilt as a problem, so their goal is to eliminate any and all guilt feelings. The goal is that we not feel bad, but they often miss the point. Guilt is not the problem. It’s what we’ve done that’s the problem. It’s our sin, not the symptoms (the feelings) that are our real problem.
* Feelings of guilt awaken us to the real problem. Feelings of guilt can be a good thing. Pain in our bodies is a blessing. Pain alerts us to the fact that there’s a problem. Pain in our eye warns us that a foreign body has entered that can do damage. Pain in our heart may alert us to problems in our arteries. Pain in our back alerts us to an injury of some sort.
Joseph’s brothers needed to see that what they had done was wrong and it revealed a problem in their lives. God, (through Joseph) put these brothers under duress in order to provoke guilt. They needed to address their sin. And the same is true of us. Guilt alerts us to a problem that needs to be addressed. So instead of trying to extinguish guilt, we should try listening to guilt. We should ask the question: "Why do I feel guilty?"
* Guilt motivates us to make necessary changes. Just as pain sometimes makes us address physical problems, guilt can lead us to address spiritual and relational problems. Do you see the changes that are beginning to take place in the lives of these sons of Jacob?
Let me list a few: they feel remorse for what they did to Joseph; the same brothers who lied to their father, Jacob, and broke his heart are now doing everything they can to reassure him and protect him; the brothers who previously acted with deception and treachery are now seeking to act honorably in returning money that they don't feel is theirs; the brothers who envied and hated the children of Rachel (Joseph & Benjamin) are now promising to protect Benjamin with their life.
The guilt they experienced prodded them to change, and it’s designed to do the same for us. God's desire is not only to love us, but to change us…or regenerate us. A gospel that does not result in a change in your everyday living is no gospel at all. Guilt is designed to move us to holiness.
Guilt over an immoral relationship is designed to move you toward the joy that comes from a relationship based in purity. Guilt over a strained relationship is designed to push you toward reconciliation and a true experience of Christian family and community. Guilt over a dishonest act is designed to spur you on to integrity and godliness. Guilt over promises you made to God that you did not fulfill are designed to get you to take God seriously. Guilt you have over behavior that you can't "seem to help" is to get you out of a destructive situation. Guilt you have for your anger is designed to lead you to more productive ways of handling frustration.
What I'm suggesting is that instead of running from your guilt, you should listen to it.
* Guilt drives us to a gracious God. To this point the story is a marvelous illustration of what is known as “common grace,” which is God’s undeserved kindness shown to every single person. Like Joseph’s brothers, who’d sinned terribly against him, every single person has sinned against God. If He gave us what we deserve, we’d all go straight to hell. But as Jesus said, “He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men” (Luke 6:35). He grants us the many blessings of life when we deserve His judgment, so that we will turn from our sin. That’s why Romans 2:4, asks: “Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” (NASV).
If you’ve not turned from your sin to faith in Christ, you’re shrugging off the kindness of God. The next verse in Romans warns, “But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God.” In other words, now is the time when God has graciously shown you His kindness so that you may turn to Him. But if you shrug it off, the day of judgment lies ahead.
Joseph’s brothers provide us with an excellent illustration of salvation. In their current spiritual state they faced Joseph with the greatest fear. They perceived their only “salvation” to be in their “works” of returning the money they found in their sacks and in the pistachio nuts and other presents they brought from Canaan. The first was refused by the steward, and the second was ignored by Joseph. It was not their works that endeared these brothers to Joseph; it was their relationship to him. That’s what they did not yet realize.
In the same way today sinful men and women dread the thought of standing before a righteous and holy God. The future must be faced with great fear. Frantically, men and women seek to gain God’s favor and acceptance by their “pistachio nuts” of good works. Such things as trying to live by the Golden Rule or the Ten Commandments, joining the church, and being baptized, are unacceptable to God as a basis for salvation. What saves a man or a woman is a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ.
When we stand before the throne of God, the only thing God will be interested in is our relationship to His Son, Jesus Christ. As the Lord Jesus Himself put it, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me” (John 14:6). This is the consistent message of the Bible: “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name” (John 1:12). “And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved” (Acts 4:12).
Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? If not, then I urge you to acknowledge that you’re a sinner, deserving of God’s eternal wrath. Let your eternal destiny rest in Jesus Christ, Who died in your place and Who offers you His righteousness and eternity with Him.
Realize that any work which you may do will do nothing to gain God’s favor. God is pleased only with the work which Christ has already done on the cross of Calvary. God wants to extend you His grace that He demonstrated at the Cross but you must come to Jesus, repent of your sin and guilt, and trust Him as your personal Lord and Savior.
This morning you and I can look back at Joseph’s brothers and fault them for their ignorance of Joseph’s true identity and their slowness to repudiate past sin, but if we try, we can find at least some partial excuses for them. Their sin was long past and there was nothing that they could do to change its consequences. And how could they possibly guess that this powerful Egyptian ruler was Joseph?
You and I do not have those excuses! We know of sin that we committed in the last 24 hours. We know that we’re guilty before God. And we know that we can’t fix ourselves. We must allow God to do it for us.
My friend, if you’ve not turned from your sin previously, if you have not turned in faith to Christ and His Cross, then turn from your sin and to Him today in faith. He loves you, wants to forgive you and transform your life – but you must turn to Him. Will you turn to Him today?
