Grace Church
257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105

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How to talk to your kids about moral issues (Mike Cote Preaching) 1 Corinthians 6:9 – 11 Sermon #4 Don't you know that wicked people won't inherit the kingdom of God? Stop deceiving yourselves! People who continue to commit sexual sins, who worship false gods, those who commit adultery, homosexuals, or thieves, those who are greedy or drunk, who use abusive language, or who rob people will not inherit the kingdom of God. That's what some of you were! But you have been washed and made holy, and you have received God's approval in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. As I was given this sermon it is not only a difficult sermon, but Jami and I have no children….So you might be asking, then how can you tell us how to talk to our kids about moral issues.  The question that I would have for you is, Is experience the greatest teacher? Do I need to be addicted to heroine to know that it is bad for me? No this view is unbiblical, experience is not the trump card. I don’t need to have my own children in order to help you talk to your children, we have a universal tool that is true for you and for me, that tool is the Word of God. The Word of God is filled with caution and warnings against moral laxity, and sin.  They are written so that we don’t go and seek them out and do these things, we are given warning so we know about them and avoid them.  Even in 1 Corinthians 6:9 – 11, Paul is giving a warning, so that we do not do these things, because we are no longer a part of this list, but we have been justified, saved from these very things, and redeemed. Many of us here this morning have gone through some dark times, we have experienced what no person should ever have to, and yes we have learned from it, but the experience also comes with baggage, and we will tote that around with us until we are home with the lord, or He comes back for us. Even Paul writes about the thorn in his side, the affliction he has, but we could have also avoided it if we just would have had someone talk to us. Do we want our children to carry the same baggage that we do, on account of learning from experiences? So we can see the importance of knowing why we need to talk to our kids, not only as it is just beneficial for your kids, and others, but it is also apart of the makeup of being a Christian. In 1 Peter 3:15 we are to always be prepared, to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. And in Hebrews 5:14, We must learn to discern good and evil As we read in 1 Corinthians 6:9 – 11, we see a great deal of morals that we should have a stand on, for these things are wicked, and should not be apart of our practical lives. But unfortunately we live in a wicked and perverse world, and these are daily issues that we face. Such as: Abortion, substance abuse, homosexuality, sex, suicide, idolatry, and liars (swindlers). In today’s culture we are surrounded with these moral issues. We don’t have to give chase to it, or even leave the house, just turn on the T.V., or surf the internet, play a video game, or listen to music.  We are surrounded, and moral influence has us backed up against the wall, waiting for us to make a decision, a choice, to be influenced. The problem isn’t finding out what the moral issue are, they are already in your face.  The problem, is working through these issues, helping raise up your awareness, and discernment. Especially as we focus on our children, in Proverbs 22:6, Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. First and foremost we must look into what morals are? According to the American Standard dictionary; Morals are: Of or concerned with the judgment of the goodness or badness of human action and character. Morals are: Standards of what is right or just in behavior; or virtue. Morals are: the decisions, or actions taken from the heart. Talking to someone about morals is having a heart to heart with them. But is this the correct view, does the dictionary give us a parallel to the Biblical view? Where, then, is the moral will of God to be found? Naturally, since man cannot lead himself (see Jer. 10:23), it is to be found in the Bible—God’s special revelation to man. The Bible is a very ethical book, it never divorces its code of morality from a personal relationship with the God of the Bible, teaching that God’s laws are not meant to hinder joy and pleasure, but to enhance man’s capacity to know and love God and people. Morality is meant to be the product of knowing and loving the God of the Bible (Deut. 4:4-6; Matt. 22:36-40; Mark 12:28-34. So then what is the method to do so, How can we talk to them about morals so that they will listen? We can take example from Christ, Whom throughout His public ministry dealt with a variety of people, each with different understandings from a childlike understanding, to Pharisees, who are scholarly. Jesus used many different methods in order to adequately talk to them so that they would understand. We can see that Jesus met people where they were at, He never had them perform a song and a dance, but just as they are as he saw them, and in doing so we see that Jesus took the initiative. First we must learn to: Take the initiative In John 4 we see Jesus at Jacobs well in the sixth hour, when a Samaritan woman came to draw water.  Immediately Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” We see that Jesus took the initiative. We can’t wait, and hope that they will bring up these issues on their own.  Sometimes later is too late. In Saint Louis in 1984, an unemployed cleaning woman noticed a few bees buzzing around the attic of her home. Since there were only a few, she made no effort to deal with them. Over the summer the bees continued to fly in and out the attic vent while the woman remained unconcerned, unaware of the growing city of bees. The whole attic became a hive, and the ceiling of the second-floor bedroom finally caved in under the weight of hundreds of pounds of honey and thousands of angry bees. While the woman escaped serious injury, she was unable to repair the damage of her accumulated neglect. We must: Keep an open atmosphere As Jesus called all people to himself, in Matthew 11:25 – 30, “Come to me all who are weary, and heavy-laden; and I will give you rest.”  The atmosphere in the call wasn’t one with stipulations are conditions, no repercussions, or condemnation, or bondage, but it was an open atmosphere, and one for all, no matter who, or what circumstance, there is too be no judgment, but rest. Come as you are. As we keep an open atmosphere it is not limited to one specific facet , but instead has several facets that attribute to one atmosphere. Non threatening body Language – How we tend to present ourselves, if we post a stance with arms crossed, standing in a wide stand with a grimace and the evil eye, while saying…..”I won’t judge you, I love you.”  Tends to not be the most believable, but sends signals that the atmosphere is hostile, red lights go off, and the sound “abort, abort, abort.” goes off in their head. Loving Tone inflections, (How you speak.) Attitude of the conversation – If it is too casual, and not serious, then chances are that they will take it the same way. We must: Clearly lay out and identify the values Jesus made sure to clarify His values, and did so, so that people would really have an understandable and clear picture, and he did so by using parables.  The parables illustrated the value in a story, so the concept would sink in to all people. Let me give you another example: I could say - Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific, Fain would I fathom thy nature specific. Loftily poised in the ether capacious, Strongly resembling a gem carbonaceous.     And maybe one or two of you would understand it. -translated- Or I could rephrase it, and make it understandable and say - Twinkle, twinkle, little star, How I wonder what you are, Up above the world so high, Like a diamond in the sky. In order for this next point to work, we must give them the time and opportunity to speak, and we must then: Take the opportunity to listen Good listening is like tuning in a radio station. For good results, you can listen to only one station at a time. Trying to listen to my wife while looking over an office report is like trying to receive two radio stations at the same time. I end up with distortion and frustration. Listening requires a choice of where I place my attention. To tune into my partner, I must first choose to put away all that will divide my attention. That might mean laying down the newspaper, moving away from the dishes in the sink, putting down the book I'm reading, setting aside my projects. We need to give our full dedication and time to stop everything else and really listen. Listening, is a gateway to a deeper, and greater relationship.  There is nothing better then an open ear. Writer Charles Swindoll once found himself with too many commitments in too few days. He got nervous and tense about it. "I was snapping at my wife and our children, choking down my food at mealtimes, and feeling irritated at those unexpected interruptions through the day," he recalled in his book Stress Fractures. "Before long, things around our home started reflecting the patter of my hurry-up style. It was becoming unbearable. "I distinctly remember after supper one evening, the words of our younger daughter, Colleen. She wanted to tell me something important that had happened to her at school that day. She began hurriedly, 'Daddy, I wanna tell you somethin' and I'll tell you really fast.' "Suddenly realizing her frustration, I answered, 'Honey, you can tell me -- and you don't have to tell me really fast. Say it slowly." "I'll never forget her answer: 'Then listen slowly.'" We must also: Be Truthful No matter how hard it is to hear or tell someone, as Jesus said in John 8:32, “then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” A.W. Tozer said The unattended garden will soon be overrun with weeds; the heart that fails to cultivate truth and root out error will shortly be a theological wilderness. We need to be making sure that we are tending the garden, by cultivating truth and rooting out those weeds that are constantly overrunning.  It is also important to be truthful for the sake of Christ, As we are a testimony to truth itself (Christ), we should not do anything to hinder, negate, or discredit what you say. We are in all circumstances to: Have patience As we are believers, in Galatians 5:22 one of the fruits that we receive as we are sealed by the holy Spirit is Patience.  We are to source in Christ, and demonstrate that fruit of the Spirit. Leonardo da Vinci.stated "Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind." Hebrews 12:1 tells us to "run with endurance" the race set before us. George Matheson wrote, "We commonly associate patience with lying down. We think of it as the angel that guards the couch of the invalid. Yet there is a patience that I believe to be harder -- the patience that can run. To lie down in the time of grief, to be quiet under the stroke of adverse fortune, implies a great strength; but I know of something that implies a strength greater still: it is the power to work under stress; to have a great weight at your heart and still run; to have a deep anguish in your spirit and still perform the daily tasks. It is a Christ-like thing! The hardest thing is that most of us are called to exercise our patience, not in the sickbed but in the street." To wait is hard, to do it with "good courage" is harder! We need Patience for the subject or moral issue at hand, patience for the child, or person who you are talking to about morals, and patience to see this process on how to talk about moral issues. We can face moral issues, and talking to people, and our children about moral issues by; Taking an initiative, keeping an open atmosphere, clearly laying out and identifying values, by listening, being truthful, having patience, and lastly as we: Use every day opportunities Christ took advantage of everyday circumstances, in order to turn the values into a daily practicality.  To involve it in their lives, so they can see it in practice.  There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one." Take home Truths: The greatest influence, or way that we can teach our children, and or people around us, is in and through our very own lives.  We will live by our own morals, and they will be manifested in our lives.  People are watching, and listening, your children are watching and listening.  So now you need to ask yourselves, Are my morals in sync with the Word?  Where do I stand with theses issues, and how do I carry myself around my children, or people around me? As we watched in the short video before, most of them didn’t learn by having their parents sit them down and go through a checklist, instead they learned through an example. So what example are we setting, what morals are we portraying? The Word of God sets the moral standards We lead by how we live in light of God’s word Our children follow by example