Grace Church exists to glorify our Heavenly Father by
 continually making more disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Grace Church
257 Kendall Street
Burlington, WI 53105

(262) 763-3021

How’s your love life? 1 John 4:16-21 Get Real: A Study of 1 John Sermon #20 A group of professionals posed the question “What does love mean?” to a group of young children. The answers they received were pretty insightful:       *Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way. *When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love. *When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth. *Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other. *Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs. *Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings. *Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK. *Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss. *Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. *When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more. *You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."   How’s your love life? That’s essentially what our friend, John, is asking in 1 John 4. He uses the test of love to monitor the legitimacy of those who claim to be Christians because true Christians love one another. Last week we noted that 1 John 4 could be called “the other love chapter.” In verses 7-11 John makes the point that we must love one another because God is love and He demonstrated it in sending His Son as the propitiation for our sins. Then, in verses 12-16 John says that we can be assured that God abides in us and we in Him if we see His Spirit producing in us love for one another and in our confession of the truth about Jesus Christ. The basis of God commanding us to love one another is that He indwells us. We don’t work up love, instead we let the God Who is love, we let His unbelievable love flow through us and out of us.   John though knows that in this matter of loving others, it's easy to be hypocrites. It's easy to sing, "Oh, how I love Jesus," while at the same time our homes are a battle zone. We put on our spiritual masks at church but in our hearts we harbor bitterness toward a fellow Christian who’s wronged us. So John again hits this vital matter of practical love for one another.   My Bible is open to 1 John 4:16-21 (p. 864). How’s your love life? If it’s what it should be then John says that there will be confidence (vss. 17-18) and obedience (vss. 19-21). 1. God’s unbelievable love gives us confidence for the Day of judgment, vss. 17-18.  One of the greatest films probably ever made is Saving Private Ryan. Saving Private Ryan contains one of the most potent theological statements found in a movie. It’s an inaccurate theological statement, but it’s such a potent one that most people believe it.   In case you don’t know the story, it begins on D-Day. The allied forces have stormed the shore on Normandy. After storming the shore, in that battle, in that terrible war and also on the front in Italy, there were three sons who died; three sons of a family of four sons. Those three sons were all killed in battle and when the news of that reached the bureaucracy of the army, they discovered that not only were those three sons dead from the same family, but there was one brother who was still perhaps alive, so they decided to bring him home. His name was Private Ryan, Private James Ryan. A small squad of men, a patrol, led by Captain John Miller (played by Tom Hanks) is told to go out through enemy territory and find this paratrooper, James Ryan, who was dropped into enemy territory with thousands of other men and bring him out.   As they go in, they go through a couple of other battles in the process and finally get to the town where Private Ryan is with a small group of battle-fatigued soldiers. They’re all that’s left of a platoon attempting to hold a bridge in this town. They’re trying to hold on to this bridge to keep the Germans from taking it and if they aren’t able to hold it against the Germans, they’re going to blow it up. Captain Miller and his men come and find Private Ryan and say, "Hey, you’re out of here! We’re taking you home." He says, "I’m not going. I’m here to do a job. These are the only brothers I have left. These men I’m fighting with here. And I’m not going." So Captain Miller and his men decide to stay and try to help protect the bridge. There’s a terrible battle. There are only about 20 of them against tanks and heavy guns. Ultimately, Captain Miller is fatally shot trying to blow up the bridge just before the Germans take it. As he’s lying there dying, Allied P-51s fly over and bomb the tanks, and the allied forces win. One of the last scenes is Captain Miller dying on the bridge and Private Ryan comes up to him, they’re talking together and Captain Miller whispers something. Private Ryan comes closer to him and he whispers again, saying, "James, Earn this. Earn this." Fifty years later a now elderly James Ryan along with his family return to the cemetery where Captain Miller is buried. He finds the grave and he talks to Captain Miller’s grave. With tears streaming down his face, James Ryan asks his wife, “Have I been a good man? Tell me I’ve been a good man?” And what he’s asking is, “Have I earned this? Have I earned such a tremendous sacrifice of others who gave their lives for me? “   It’s a very emotionally moving scene. I don’t think Captain  Miller meant to put such powerful chains of debt on James Ryan, but he did. For 50 years that man woke up and wondered if today he would ever be able to earn what was done for him by those men.   Now many would say, "Yes. That’s right. That’s what he should have done. Others died for him so he owes them something. He has to earn what they did for him. And to spend 50 years trying, wondering that whole time if you were succeeding, it’s not only okay. It’s good." But that’s not what God says to us. Aren’t you glad that Jesus Christ didn’t say on the cross, “Earn this?” Aren’t you thankful? Yet I’m afraid many Christians believe just that. They believe that we’re to live a life and expect God to have that same attitude which says, "You’ve got to earn this now." You’ve got to wonder all the time if you’re good enough. You’ve got to spend your whole life in helpless insecurity, wondering if when you stand before God He will be able to look at you and say, ’Well, okay, you’re in.’"   I have wonderful news for you. God doesn’t want you to think that you’ve got to earn it. That’s man’s idea and God is totally different. He’s so incredibly different than that that His response instead is, "Take it, it’s yours. It’s a gift. I am giving it to you. I am initiating this death for you to do for you what you could never do for yourself. And I want you to be confident, to be assured, to even be bold as you stand before Me."   Our lives are full of proofs that we are the recipients of the overwhelming love and grace of God. We don’t have to spend 50 years, as James Ryan did, wondering and then find out at the end, "Okay, we made it by the grace of God." We don’t have to spend our lives wondering, living lives of insecurity. Just the opposite is true. God wants us to be secure if we have put our faith and trust in the only one who can save us, Jesus Christ. How do we know? What’s the proof? What’s the proof that we can stand boldly in the presence of God. John gives us the key to this confidence, “In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like Him” (v. 17).   Did you catch that word? Confidence or boldness. When? "On the day of judgment." When you stand before God, God because of Calvary’s cross has made it so that you can stand before Him with confidence. I can guarantee you that man didn’t make up this system. Because in man’s system we come dragging all our works in and say, "Look at all I did for You, God. I healed people. I cast out demons in Your name." And what does the Judge say? "Depart from Me. I never knew you." Works don’t cut it. Faith is what salvation is about. And it’s terribly sad that many believers miss it, somehow they keep thinking that it’s up to us to somehow earn it. Which do you think honors God more, our feeble attempts to add to the sacrifice of Christ by our own efforts or to rest our whole weight in complete trust on the sacrificial death of Christ on our behalf? Which honors God more, God’s way or our way? It’s pretty clear.   If you struggle with this, let me share a wonderful quote from A.W. Tozer. It’s from an essay of his entitled, “God is Easy to Live With.” Tozer wrote, “How good it would be if we would learn that God is easy to live with. He remembers our frame and knows that we are dust. He may sometimes chasten us, it’s true. But even this He does with a smile, the proud tender smile of a Father who is bursting with pleasure over an imperfect but promising [child] who is coming every day to look more and more like the One whose child he is." That’s the miracle of salvation. God clears the debt of sin we owe and clears the way to put in us His own Holy Spirit to live inside of us and to change us. It’s the twin punch of justification and sanctification. Because of Calvary we’re justified, standing before God in perfect righteousness. His righteousness is imputed to us and we’re clothed in the righteousness of Christ and given the Holy Spirit to bring our lives into conformity with the image of God’s Son. When we rely on God we’re free from fear. That’s why John writes, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” By linking love to confidence in the day of judgment he shows how important it is that we learn practically to love one another.     Martyn Lloyd-Jones' comments reinforce just how important this matter of love should be to every Christian, “Not to be concerned about loving the brethren, not to be concerned as to whether I am dwelling in love or not, is to misunderstand the whole purpose of my salvation, and therefore it is to flout God's love. If this is not the greatest concern of my life, then I am a mere beginner in the Christian life. At the beginning, of course, we have a very great concern about forgiveness; we are very concerned about certain particular sins which may have been evident in our lives before our conversion. But we must not stop at that. The hallmark of the saints is their great, increasing concern about the element of love in their lives.”   John's flow of thought here takes some effort to follow. “In this way” (v. 17) refers back to the last half of vs. 16, “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” By abiding in God and His love, “love is made complete among us.” The result of this completed/matured love is that we will have confidence in the Day of judgment. The basis of our confidence is our conformity to the character of Jesus Christ. Then, in 4:18, John gives the negative side: If we fear the Day of judgment, it’s evidence that we have not loved others as God intends. His love is not completed in us. Practicing God’s unbelievable love gives us confidence for the day of judgment. John makes four points here.   a) There will be a Day of judgment. From beginning to end Scripture is clear that there is a coming Day of judgment. Jesus spoke often about the judgment to come. Paul while preaching to the philosophers in Athens, declared that God “has set a day when He will judge the world with justice by the Man He has appointed. He has given proof of this to all men by raising Him from the dead” (Acts 17:31). Death is a judgment for our sin but it’s not the final judgment. Hebrews 9:27 declares “just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment.” The book of Revelation calls this “the second death, the lake of fire” (20:14). And you want to have a biblically based confidence as you face that certain day. John shows us here one such basis for confidence…   b) One basis for confidence in the Day of judgment is when we see God's love flowing through us to other believers. John's emphasis here is on love being perfected in us. Three times in vss. 17-18 John repeats this concept of completed or perfected love. What does he mean? The Greek word translated "perfect" does not mean, as it does in English, to be without any flaws or shortcomings. Instead the idea is to reach its complete development or intended goal, or to be mature. When John writes of God's love being perfected in us, he means that God’s love has reached its intended goal in us. "Perfect" love is not just nice thoughts or words but action (1 John 3:17-18). John Piper paraphrases the first clause of 4:17, “In this, that is in your love for each other, God's love is put into action and so reaches its appointed goal. It does not remain at the imperfect stage of mere talk, but reaches the stage of action.” When we see God's love flowing through us to others in practical good deeds, it’s one basis for confidence in the Day of judgment. Essentially, he’s said the same thing in 3:14, “We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers.” The presence of God's love in your life, not just in words, but in actions, is evidence that His life is in you and that you are in Him.   Now this doesn’t mean that you always love everyone perfectly. No one does that! Rather, it means that the direction of your life is growth in love, and not just humanly explainable love, but God's love, which may be defined as "a self-sacrificing, caring commitment that shows itself in seeking the highest good of the one loved."   This implies that you’re involved in close relationships with other believers where you’re committed to work through misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Periodically, I talk with believers who are struggling in their Christian walk. Often, they don’t know any other believers well enough or  meet regularly with them to help them work through their problems. To love one another, we must get to know one another and also be committed to work through difficulties in our relationships. Christians are a family so you don’t just bail when there’s a problem. And when you see that kind of love increasing in your life, it gives you confidence in the Day of judgment. John goes on to explain why this is so…   c) God's love through us to others gives confidence in the Day of judgment because it shows that we are like Jesus, “because in this world we are like Him” (v. 17b). The assumption is that on the judgment day God won't condemn people who are like his Son. Living a life of active love shows that we have the Spirit of Jesus. It shows we belong to the family of God and that gives us confidence before God. You can't live at odds with the character of Jesus and then expect to have any confidence when you stand before His Father at the final judgment.   Please note: John did not say “we should be” but rather “we are like Him.” We all need to ask, “Am I at all like Jesus? Does my life display any resemblance to the love of Jesus in this world? Would others, especially those who live with me, say that they see the love of Christ in my daily behavior?” Obviously, such love will never be an exact representation of Christ's love, even in godliest of saints. Love is a fruit of the Spirit. Fruit  takes time and nurture to grow. But if there's no evidence that the fruit is growing, we need to examine the root to find out if the whole tree is bad. If you’re not growing in love, you need to ask, "Am I truly born of God?" John goes on to examine the negative side of things…   d) If we fear the Day of judgment, it’s evidence that we have not loved others as God intends. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (vs. 18). John’s not saying that we should not fear God in the sense of regarding Him with respect or reverence. What he means is that you cannot draw near to God in love and run from Him out of fear of judgment at the same time. God wants His children to know “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1).   If you still fear God's judgment, at the very least, you’re not practicing biblical love for others as you should be. That's what John is saying when he writes, "the one who fears is not perfected in love."   All of us, at one point in life, should have experienced the fear of God's judgment. As you grow in grace and godliness that fear is replaced by God's love. 18th century commentator, Bengel, gives the proper course of growth in the spiritual life. First, there is neither love nor fear. Then, there is fear without love. Thirdly, there is both fear and love. Finally, for the growing believer there is love without fear. Most unbelievers have neither the fear of God or the love of God in their lives. Often such lack of fear stems from ignorance. Children are often unafraid of danger because they’re not aware of the severity of the danger. Concerning people in their natural state, Paul states “There is no fear of God before their eyes” (Rom. 3:18). Unbelievers are a heartbeat away from eternity in the lake of fire, but they don't fear God! But as the Holy Spirit brings conviction of sin and judgment, they become terrified of God's wrath and their guilt before Him. At this point, it’s "fear without love." God often uses this to drive them to the cross, where, still trembling, they experience both fear and love. As they grow assured of His grace and see His love working itself out in their lives, they cast out fear and grow into love without fear. John Newton aptly put it, “Twas grace that caused my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved." As God's love grows in your life, it casts out the fear of judgment that existed before. His love flowing through you is evidence that you’re born of God and that evidence removes the fear of God's judgment. 2. God’s unbelievable love empowers us to obey, vss. 19-21.   a) It’s only God’s unbelievable love that gives us confidence in the Day of judgment, v. 19. “We love because He first loved us.” Spurgeon has five different sermons on verse 19 alone. We’re just scratching the surface of this today. John's point is that if we love God or others to any extent with genuine biblical love, we need to remember that this love did not originate with us. The source of this love is God. It came from God, who loved us while we were sinners. The fact that “we love” God and other believers is evidence we’ve experienced His love in a saving way.   One practical application of vs. 19 is that if you’re struggling to love someone, especially someone who has wronged you, meditate on God's love as it was shown to you at the cross. You did not deserve it in any way. On the contrary, you deserved His wrath and judgment. But in spite of all of your sins, Jesus willingly suffered the penalty that you should have received. Now He wants you to be the channel for His love to other sinners.   But it's easy to deceive ourselves into thinking that we love God, when in fact we do not. Thus, John continues…   b) Hatred identifies those who do not truly know God, v. 20. “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” When the movie The Passion of Christ came out a couple went to see the movie. After the movie the two of them got into such a fierce disagreement about the meaning of the movie, that the cops had to be summoned to settle their domestic disturbance. The incident had the police officers shaking their heads. It seemed clear that those folks hadn't made the connection between Jesus' love for them and their love for each other. And what if one of them had won the argument and proved the other wrong? In the absence of love being right is useless. An absence of love indicates that we’re not among the righteous. John says you cannot know the God Who is love and be filled with hate for other believers. A relationship with God and hatred are mutually exclusive.   Too often professing believers are like the little girl who’d spent the whole day fighting with her sister. That night they prepared for bed, still mad at each other. As usual, they knelt beside their beds for their prayers. "Dear God," the 8 yr. old began, "Bless Daddy and Mommy, bless our cat and dog." Then she stopped. Her mother gently prodded, "Didn’t you forget somebody?" She glared across the bed at her 6 year-old sister and added, "And, oh yes, God bless my ex-sister." A lack of love for other believers demonstrates that we’re not really in the same family.   We cannot divorce our relationship with God from our relationship with our Christians. Hate is opposed to love, lying is opposed to truth. Jesus is the truth…God is love. Genuine love for God must demonstrate itself in observable love for others. It’s foolish to say that you love a God you can’t see, when you do not love your brother or sister in Christ who you can see. Friend, if you don't practice sacrificial, committed love for others, you’re tragically revealing that you don’t really love God.   Listen to the words of David Jackman: “Is this not one of the greatest sins as Christians today? We may talk a lot about loving God, we may express it in our worship with great emotion, but what does it mean when we are so critical of other Christians, so ready to jump to negative conclusions about people, so slow to bear their burdens, so unwilling to step into their shoes? Such lovelessness totally contradicts what we profess and flagrantly disobeys God’s commands. It becomes a major stumbling-block to those who are seeking Christ and renders any attempt at evangelism useless. In many churches…we need a fresh repentance on this matter, a new humbling before God, an honest confession of our need and a cry to God for mercy and grace to change us.”   c) Loving other believers is not optional, it’s a command, v. 21. “And He has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.” God’s commands aren’t suggestions. Do we think that the commands to not murder or covet or lie are optional? Absolutely not. Neither is this command to love our brothers and sisters in Christ.   “A king’s invitation is never to be answered, but to be obeyed.”Sir Leonard Wood visited the King of France and the King was so pleased with him that he was invited back for dinner the next day. The next day Sir Leonard went to the palace and the King met him in one of the halls and he said, “Why, Sir Leonard, I did not expect to see you. How is it that you are here?” “Did not your majesty invite me to dine with you?” said the astonished guest. “Yes,” replied the King, “but you did not answer my invitation.” And then Sir Leonard Wood uttered these powerful words, “A king’s invitation is never to be answered, but to be obeyed.”   But the very fact that God commands us to love shows that it is not always effortless or easy. If love just gushed out of us like a mountain spring, then John wouldn't have labored the point as much as he does.   Some of you have experienced deep wounds from professing Christians. I know I have. Loving them will not be easy but it also is not optional. God gave us this commandment and He doesn't attach a list of exceptions for difficult cases. Conclusion: A couple who’d been married for 15 years were having more than usual disagreements. But they wanted to make their marriage work and agreed on an idea the wife had. For one month they planned to drop a slip in a "Fault Box.” The boxes would provide a place to let the other know about daily irritations. The wife was diligent in her efforts and approach: "leaving the jelly top off the jar," "wet towels on the shower floor," "dirty socks not in hamper," on and on until the end of the month. After dinner, at the end of the month, they exchanged boxes. The husband reflected on what he’d done wrong. Then his wife opened her box and began reading…they were all the same, on each slip he had simply written, "I love you!" That’s what God is commanding us to do. Replace the fault boxes in our marriages, in our families and in our church with His “Love Box.”   If we discovered that we had just five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every cell phone, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they love them. Why do we seemingly always wait until people are gone to say that we love them?   Love isn’t easy. John knew that. He’d spent three and a half years with 11 other disciples. They’d struggled with getting along but by drawing on Christ’s love, in the end they were willing to die for one another. We must draw on the same source, God’s love, and then work at loving those we live with and with those in this church.   Remember, the payoff for obedience to this command is that you will have confidence before God on the Day of judgment. Our primary source of confidence is that we have believed in the Lord Jesus Christ and His shed blood as the propitiation for our sins. It’s only His blood, not our works that atones for sins. But, how do we know that our faith in Christ is genuine, since it’s so easy to be deceived? One evidence of genuine faith is when we see God's love flowing through us to others, especially to others that we would not naturally love. My friend, the more you see God's love surfacing in your life, the more you’ll “be confident and unashamed before Him at His coming” (1 John 2:28).